One step forward...10 steps back

I guess I should not have opened my big fat mouth last week and said I was making progress. I jinxed it. Today hubby got paid and we were going to take that money and pay off the rest of the money to the lawyer and I set up an appointment with the lawyer for next week. Things were rolling along. BIG set back today. Hubby went to pick up his check and his wages were garnished. They took HALF of his check!!!!!

Why oh Why? I just needed this one last check and then next week it would have been stopped. Now everything is getting pushed back 2 to 3 weeks and we are going to have to live on pretty much nothing during this time. The MAJOR problem with pushing it back 3 weeks is that there is another place that could garnish his wages at any time now. Plus this month is crazy with birthdays and weddings and all those other extra costs that are not in your regular budget.

My brain is spinning in a million directions. I stared at a budget today for like 6 hours calculating and re- calculating thinking what? I am not sure? Hoping maybe money would just magically appear...no such luck! I just am so frustrated! I want to know everything is going to be ok because right now it just does not feel that way.

Let's not mention that my dog is so so sick. He is throwing up every where!!! He has not been himself for the past few weeks and then today he just started throwing up. I feel so bad for him. I wish he could talk and tell what is going on with him. It makes me sad to see him this way.

So I say all this to say I am sorry if I have been bad lately. I have been reading but not commenting much. Once I get this figured out I will be better I promise! Please send good thoughts and prayers and if anyone knows any  good chants, potion, or dance lol advice to reverse this horrible luck I have had lately I would really appreciate it!

I hope everyone is doing much better then I.


xxooxxoo

Just some updates

Been busy but I am finally starting to feel like I am making some progress. I am still very far from my goal but at least we will finally be filing our bankruptcy. I have been getting all the info together and the rest of the money. Soon I will get all these bill collectors off my back. YAY!!!

Also, I have been helping my mom with a garage sale. FYI garage sales seem like a good idea but they really are not. It takes a whole lot of time and energy and you do not make much money. Though my mom needs every dime she can get and she definitely can not do it by herself so I spent last Thursday and Friday helping her and we are back at it again tomorrow. YUCK!!

The next month is going to be CRAZY for me. Filing the bankruptcy, doctors, dentists, weddings, party's, we have our nephews over night, my oldest nephews birthday and my youngest nephews birthday, and our anniversary. Wow all that is making me tired just thinking about it. UGH!

Anyway, I hope all is well with you!

Fears

So last night I was up until something like 4:00 am. My mind was racing a mile a minute...Why? because I saw a show about someone who was fine one day and gone the next. He was young (35 or 36)...healthy...died of a heart attack. What!? And then because I believe strongly that things happen for a reason, every once in a while this will happen - I see something, hear something, or read something and then I think it was put before me to tell me BEWARE!!!! this may happen to your hubby! Now this does not happen every time but there are times like this. It goes away after a day but still. am I crazy?

I always say that my worst fear is that I will never be a mother. This is a HUGE fear!!!!! However, if I am really being honest my absolute worst fear is being left alone. I have abandonment issues ( I blame my father leaving. I find things always make me feel better if I blame father LOL)...anyway. Hubby always gets mad because I always tell him I want to go first because I do not want to be left alone (maybe this is because at the time I do not have children) In fact just the other day we had some major storms. Severe thunderstorms and tornado warnings and all. I don't mind storms. I just hate severe storms and tornados. I know who really likes them? But for example he will sleep through them or go right out in the middle to watch if I let him. I have had some bad experiences so I will not. So anyway, the other night I tell him I want him to stay up until the dtorms pass as I watch the weather and they are headed right for us. He says, "all it is a bad storm & some wind" (BTW a tornado hit about 45 minutes or so away and wiped out a lot of homes) To which I say, "there is a huge tree that the wind could knock over and my luck it would fall right on the bed where you and all the animals will be sleeping. " He says, "Thanks a lot! (rolling his eyes) That is not going to happen!" Which to me is the kiss of doom! Then I say "who ever says I think a tree is going to fall on me today?" (or whatever the scenario is at the time) Now I have snowballed it into the end of the world in my head. So because he is the wonderful husband that he is, he stayed up and guess what...by the time it got to us it was some heavy rain and that is it.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea, like I run around in mass hysteria stating it is the end of the world. Most of this happens in my head. Even the conversation above with my hubby was said half laughingwhile in my head imagining how much my world would crumble if it actually happened. But it bothers me that something as simple as a TV show can keep me up for hours. Is it just me? Am I crazy? Does anyone else do this because whenever I talk about this people look at me like I am nuts.

Obviously I know that you can't live your life in fear. I DON"T! I am a worrier and for that there is NO DOUBT! But I am not some wierdo that doesn't do anything or try things because I fear it. These are thoughts that pass through my mind. Maybe linger there for a day or so and then go away...til the next time or when I have something new to worry about. I also must say I have gotten so much better then I used to be. It used to be WAY WORSE! Does anyone else do this? What are your fears?

So SO Sorry!

WOW I have been away for a while. I am sorry. I have not been keeping up with reading or writing lately. Things have been crazy with me. I was getting sick of whining and complaining and kind of sick of the computer all together so I have stayed away for a while. It has felt like I have been getting dumped on for the last few weeks. I felt like I was going to lose it all together but I think I am starting to get a handle on things now.

 After getting served another set of papers for another suit against we finally sucked it up and went and had our talk with my MIL. We explained about the bankruptcy and how they may ask her for the money that we have paid her and we even asked to borrow more money to help pay for the bankruptcy seeing as now we will have 2 places trying to garnish his wages. Amazingly she and FIL took it very well and they gave us 800 towards it. So within the next couple weeks we will have that all set and ready to go. I was pleasantly surprised and VERY thankful they did that for us. They even took us out to dinner that night. So all turned out well with that. Now I just have to get everything together for the lawyer so it can be filed.

My doggy got hurt AGAIN and was crying out in pain last week. He is better now. We had some meds left over from the last time so that helped. We were planning on going camping with my sis and my nephews over memorial weekend but we did not go due to money. I was very bummed out about it. Joey the 4 almost 5 year old went down on the zip line. Here is a picture of my brave brave boy at the bottom of the zip line. That zip line was high and sis said he just wanted to know how he would be safe and once they explained to him he was good to go and he did it twice. How nice to be a kid with such innocence. I wish I would have been there to see it.



Anyway, I hope everyone else had a very nice memorial weekend...I know a little late but better late then never. I will be stopping by and getting caught and hopefully be writing more often now. Talk to you all soon.

xxooxxoo

WTF? These parents get to have kids and I don't?!?!

OK so sorry I have been away for a while. I have had a lot of things going on. I promise I will get caught up with all of you over the next few days and actually write a post. To hold you over take a look at this FABULOUS parenting job these parents are doing...

http://www.dlisted.com/node/37418

WTF? The parents of this child are allowed to procreate and I am not! This really pisses me off!

Crap, CRap and more CRAP!!!

What a week the last week has been! It has sucked to say the least! First I worked my moms driving job on Monday and I thought things went well. there were only 2 stops and it went smoothly. There was a stop where they wanted me to pick up like 20 or so HEAVY parts. When I got there I had 6 to drop off which were VERY HEAVY and I have a bad back. My mom told me to just ask them to help. I did...they did not. They told me to back up the car and they would load it with the parts they needed to return. My mom told me to tell them I could only take back 2. I did...they got mad. They then took a lot of time to give me the paper work before I could leave. I knew they were doing it on purpose so I kept a smile on my face and just waited. It did not matter to me at all...I was getting paid by the hour. Anyway, so the next my mom went and they gave her a hard time too. She then gets a call saying they called to complain about her and me and so she was fired from that route. That is a bunch of CRAP! She has worked for them for 3 years and everyone else on that route LOVE her. They kept asking about her while she was gone. The person that called to complain made up lies about what happened. Saying either I or my mom (not clear on who he said) had thrown a part across the floor. I could barely lift them so I KNOW I did not throw them! Anyway, I was very upset and feeling really bad! It really sucks when you KNOW you did nothing wrong yet you are getting screwed! Or rather my mom got screwed. I am not sure what she is going to do now and I just would really love to give someone a piece of my mind. Please say a prayer for her that she finds something soon!

Then of course I got a SEVERE toothache at 5:00 on Friday. Does that not figure? So I had to go all night before I could get into the dentist. I never slept because I was in so much pain. It came out of no where my tooth never even twinged before and then it went from 0 to I want to shoot myself in the head in 1 minute.

I got a new cell phone and have had to send it back for a new one 3 times due to no signal at my house. The latest one I received still is not getting a signal but I am still receiving calls so I am going to wait a few days to see what happens.

I applied for a job that my resume was a perfect match for. I mean everything I had in my resume was EXACTLY what they were looking for but today I get an email saying I am not qualified for that job. I just do not even understand. These people are not even reading my resume...OBVIOUSLY. IT is so so FRUSTRATING!

This week I have a million and one things to do. I really hope this week goes much better. How are things with you? I hope well...I could use some good news!

xxooxxoo