Going No Where Fast

I've kind of been in a little funk and feeling frustrated the last few days. I feel stuck. I am not going any where. I feel like I am a hamster, running on one of those wheels, going as fast as I can but getting no where.

I am 35, no job, no kids, no money, and no possibilities of any of those things in the near future. I have sent my resume to what seems like every company in the state of M1ch1gan yet, no responses unless it is for a scam or sales positions. That just really does not seem possible. I mean I suppose I could get a job at some fast food restaraunt but I make more money on unemp1oyment so I won't be doing that.

I am not sure about Sammy. I thought he was doing better and then yesterday he did not seem to good. Thankfully he has not been throwing up or coughing anymore but he just mopes around. He is clearly not himself. I guess the yelping has gotten a little better too. He does it about once or twice a day and it is a little whimper. I feel bad for him and I feel guilty that I have not taken him to the vet because I need to wait until we get paid. I could have taken him on Saturday but I honestly thought he was doing better...so I paid bills. I just REALLY wish he could tell me what is the problem.

Oh, let me tell you what I think is the cutest thing and I think my other dog Katie Jo did the other night. So, the other night, at about 1:00 am Katie wanted to go outside so I let her out. When she came back in she laid down for about a half hour. I was half asleep watching a movie on the couch and I hear he go to the food dish and eat for a minute and then push the bowl around because it was empty. Then she started pacing back and forth between me in the living room and my DH in the bedroom. She does this usually when she wants to go outside or she is trying to tell us something. It is cute but can sometimes get annoying when you can't figure out what she is trying to tell you and every few seconds you her click click click of her nails up and down the hallway.

So I get up and say do you need to go back outside and she just stares at me. I look at the food bowl and see that it is empty and say, "oh are you hungry and want more food?" and she perks up and gets excited. So I have hit the nail on the head. I grab the bowl and fill it with food. She comes over to me and licks my foot and goes to the bedroom for 1 second then comes back to the living room and lays down and goes to sleep. She did not eat any of the food. So I try to get her attention and say come on Katie here is some food. She looks up, uninterested, and then goes back to sleep. I sat down confused and then Sammy comes out and eats some food. Then it hits me...Katie was totally trying to take care of Sammy. She knew she ate the last of the food and wanted to make sure Sammy had some. She got my attention and then went back and let Sammy know he could come eat. At least that is what it seems like to me. Is that not the cutest thing? I think she knows that Sammy is not feeling good. What a good dog!

Well, thats it for me right now. Nothing going on in my life except a bunch of crap. Hopefully Sammy will start feeling better soon...and me too.

Great News!

First of all I have GREAT NEWS!!!! Today I found out that I am getting unemployment. Did you hear my HUGE sigh of RELIEF!!! I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I never thought I would be this excited about getting unemployment. I guess that is the good thing about the thought of not getting it...I really appreciate it now. When I got fired I thought I would never make it on the meager makings from unemployment. Now I feel rich beyond belief...I really am not but it feels that way. Plus the paid me for my lat month of unemployment so that was so nice to get. I am sure my bill companies will appreciate it as well!

Anyway, the last few days I have been pretty busy. I am getting ready to go to bed so I am just going to provide a few bullet points.

• Took my dog Katie Jo to my moms because the family of the friend of our family was in town. We figured Katie probably does not have much time left so we thought they should see her. I don't think she realized who they were since she can't really see or hear. That family thinks Katie lives with my mom because that was what her friend that died wanted but it really was not feasible. My mom felt guilty about it so she keeps up this charade. Funny thing is Katie Jo is suppose to be "her" dog...wink, wink...but she stayed by my side all night.
• My computer is really pissing me off. It is running so slow...probably because it is old but I have tried everything to get it to run better and it does not seem to be working. I so need a new computer but I do not know how I will EVER afford that.
• DH and I went out to dinner tonight to celebrate getting unemployment (that just sounds like a funny statement). It was so good. I had stomboli. I have never had it before and it was DELICIOUS!
• Went grocery shopping...YAY! But I will NEVER...and I repeat NEVER...EVER...go shopping at Wa.l.m.art again on a Friday night. I swear they must only stock one time a week and it happens to be at 10:00pm on Friday night. So of course you can't get down the aisles and everything is cleared off the shelves. However due to my new coupon prowess I :) I saved 75.00 off my bill. I was super excited!
• We are getting Katie Jo shaved next week and she is going to be SO CUTE! I will have to show pictures.
• Have a BBQ celebration at MIL's this weekend. Family is in from out of town. There is going to 8000 kids, give or take a few thousand. It should be fun however it is going to be 94 degrees. I think that is the hottest it has gotten all summer here which is surprising for Michigan. the sucky party will be the 1000% humidity that goes along with it. This whole week is suppose to be a scorcher.
• Getting this money means I hopefully might be able to work out paying my RE so I can go for a visit and hopefully get things going again. I am very excited about that!
• Still looking, unsuccessfully, for a job. Now, though I am not so much in a hurry.
• Monday, I go to my orientation about getting into the program for the state to pay for me to go back to school for 2 years now that I am unemployed. I think it is a pretty long waiting list but that is ok. Its free money.
• Talk to my mortgage company and they just do not make any sense. I told them I could not afford to pay my payments and wanted to apply for hardship assistance. She says a. well we will set you up on a payment plan (which I was on already but could not afford). She says when, in the next 2 weeks, will you be able to pay the down payment of 1600.00? To which I respond...never because I could not pay the payment plan of 1000.00 so why would you think I could pay 1600.00? Then she does it anyway and says, "the computer won't let you be on a payment plan because you can't afford it." - Me-"Uh Duh, that s what I said" - She - "then you will have to pay what you owe in full of around 4000.00 after we send you back the money you have already paid towards that because sense you will not be on a payment plan we don't take partial payment"....Anyone else here as confused as I? If I can't afford 1000.00 or 1600.00 why do you think I can afford 4000.00? and if you already got some money why would you send it back to me only to ask for it again? Isn't some money better then none? - Anyway, I am appying to either get a loan modification since my house is worth about half of what I owe or a loan where they will pay off what I owe now and add to the back end of my mortgage. Hopefully something goes through!

That is all I got for now. I hope you all have a great weekend!

Yesterday good...today uh not so much

Today I go to certify for my last 2 weeks of unemp1oyment. It goes through but does not give me an amount or when I will be paid. So I call and wait on hold F O R E V E R and the lady says that it did not pay me because their is an open investigation. I say wait I got a thing in the mail that says I am eligible and for how many weeks and for how long. She says that is just eligibility but I have to wait to see if I am "qualified". Well thank you for being as clear as mud! She says that because I said terminated they have to look into it. I said well on the form you sent me it says my employers name and reason for leaving job was "lack of work". I ask what does that mean. She says "well let me look at it and see if I can help". Then she sees it and says " just to let you know your employer can protest"...I say " Yes I know". I asked what they said and she said she can't tell me and it will take another 7-10 days for me to get a questionaire and then 6-8 weeks for a determination. Um...how long? " Well due to the high unemp1oyment rate it takes longer" Well I have been out of work for 3 weeks what the heck takes so long to mail forms? I have received all kinds of stuff from unemp1oyment including 2 debit cards. Which to me seems like money well spent for the state if they don't even know if I am going to get it. For a state that is broke they certainly waste a lot of money. They did a name change in 3 days...I'm just sayin'

So here I was rollin' along thinking things were fine and now I find out it will be at least 8 weeks and no guarantee. Her response after looking at my stuff makes me really nervous like she saw something bad. I know I am way over thinking but I am really freaked out. What am I going to do for 8 weeks and then what will I do if I don't get it. I definitely will fight it but who wants to spend their time doing that? And still there is NO GUARANTEE. I am not a patient person. I do not like waiting because I am a worrier and during the next 8 weeks I am going to be worried about what am I going to do? Am I going to be on the streets? Where will my doggies and cat go? what about baby makin'? This is not good!

I am trying to analyze. I know a girl got fired for looking at porn on the internet which she had been warned about several times and she is getting unemp1oyment. Does that mean I will? I never had a warning and all I did was tell somebody that with the job cuts I was worried about losing my job. Apparently that was some big company secret. Yea sure no one knew (note sarcasm). I could get into all the things my boss told me that she should not have like about other people who were at my same level and their write ups. All their personal business. She used to tell the 2 guys I worked closely with all about my fertility stuff. Which uh none of their business!

Anyway so as you can tell I am freaking the F@#$ out! What the hell am I going to do?