Dr. P I am on my way!

Well, I did it! After delaying and being chicken, I finally made the call and I have an appointment for the RE next Friday. It will be nice to see him again. The last time I was at the office I was being diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy from his asshole of a partner. Dr. Positive was on vacation so I had to see the a$$. I will be curious to see what Dr.P has to say. After being nervous about it for so long, now I am feeling kind of excited. Im sure as it gets closer I will get nervous, afraid of what he will say. Afraid that all hope is lost for me. In my heart I know he won't say that but my head keeps thinking crazy thoughts. Worry...it is what I am good at. so now I have to think every single question I want answered. I am definitely talking to him about the Laparoscopy, the next injection cycle, adding progesterone to the next cycle, the last ectopic since I did not see him, just the ass... Is there anything that you can think of that I should specifically ask about in regards to Laparoscopy, progesterone, or anything else? Let me know I would appreciate any help. I have almost forgotten everything that I wanted to ask after my last miserable failure. I hope you all have a great weekend. I have a busy one. Talk to you later!

Frustrated in Michigan

I'm getting sick of diagnosing myself. It seems doctors don't really have a clue. Have you ever watched Medical Mysteries on Discovery Health.  People have serious health issues and they search and search for many years (sometimes 20 years or longer), until 1 doctor says oh yes I know what it is and you are lucky you got here when you did. WTF? We are suppose to trust our doctors...isn't that what they get the big bucks for? Yet time and again I am the one that has to say what about this? what about that?

4 years ago I was diagnosed with PCOS. I knew I had it for many years prior to that. I mean I am the poster child for this wonderful health, infertility, related problem. Symptoms: 

missed periods----check

infertility --- double check

oily skin --- check

dandruff --- check

weight gain (hard to lose) ---double check

insulin resistance - -- check

high cholesterol --- check

anxiety --- check

depression --- check

skin tags --- check (although I do not know what these look like but my dr says I have them)

thinning hair --- check

hair in unwanted places --- check

sleep apnea--- Ahhh the one thing I don't have

(for more PCOS info go to soulcysters.com they have alot of good info.)

Sounds like a barrel of laughs doesn't it? So, with all this it still took 3 doctors and 4 years to be diagnosed. I mean really? Come on? Maybe I should get a medical degree. 

Now, after my 4th lost baby I was reading that many women with PCOS need to have progesterone to support their pregnancy in the beginning. I knew previously about progesterone but did not realize it was something I should look into further...I mean surely my doctor would have mentioned something...I have had a history of not being able to carry a baby past 8 weeks.  So, in my latest appointment with my RE I mention this and he says 'We can try it" I don't think it's a problem for you though. He said we can make adjustments and try doing just the injectibles with progesterone again before going to IVF. Are we just throwing shit against the wall and hoping something sticks? Doesn't seem to scientific.  It seems to me we should have tried this from the get go. What I read said that by the time you find out progesterone is the problem its too late for the pregnancy to do anything about it. It makes me angry. I don't know if this is the problem but hopefully this will work and I won't have to go to IVF.  

Don't get me wrong I do really like my RE. He is the 3rd one I have been to and he is a very kind and compassionate doctor. When I have had my losses I really do feel he is grieving with me. He has been very positive about my ability to be able to have a baby (which is something I need because I am definitely not positive about it) and I don't want to change RE's at this point. Am I being stupid? I have a lot invested here but sometimes it just seems like they are just guessing. Maybe that's what they are doing I mean I have had some things happen such as the cervical ectopic pregnancy, happen that are rare but sometimes it just gets frustrating.  

I am hopeful that maybe this whole progesterone thing has been the problem all along, but then if it is I feel like I may have had all these unnecessary miscarriages and gone through an unnecessary hell...and that is just plain sad and unfair!!!

Anyway, I am not going to try the injectibles for a couple months because I still need to take a couple months off since the last miscarriage but maybe just maybe I won't have to worry about IVF. IVF scares me not only because of the cost but because it feels like the end of the road. If that doesn't work what am I left with? I have had enough trouble accepting not getting pregnant, I just can't imagine investing $10-15,000 and it not working. 

This whole thing just frustrates the hell out of me!