I will Choose to be Thankful!

I spend a lot of time complaining on this blog. What else is an infertility blog for? If I can't complain here then where can I? Right?!

For today, though, I am going to choose to be Thankful! I have had a tough year. What could go wrong, did. I am not going to complain about that right now. I am going to focus on the positive.

I am thankful that I have gone more then a year without a miscarriage. (We won't mention it is because I have not been to my RE for that whole time.) I am glad for the break. It did help me but I am now so ready to get back in...if only I could find the money.

I am thankful that I have insurance. It has been a life saver this year with all the back problems and stuff.  (We won't mention that they are canceling this insurance so I will not have fertility coverage come January). Although the medical is still expensive, I am thankful that I am able to go to the doctor when I need.

I am thankful that I no longer have to be in that hell hole I called a job. (I will forget the fact that I was back stabbed by people that I thought were my friends and I got fired at the worst possible time with the economy the way it is). I am thankful that I was able to get unemployment and my husband works hard and barely doesn't complain.

I am thankful that my animals, Sammy, Mia, and Juliet are all healthy and doing well. (Not to mention we lost my beautiful dog Katie Jo or my other bird Romeo and we miss them so so much). I love that they are always happy to see me and love me unconditionally.

I am thankful for a roof over my head, food in my mouth, and heat to keep me warm this winter. ( I won't talk about how much of a struggle it is to keep those things) We are making it work. No matter how hard things are, there are so many people that have it so much worse.

I am thankful for family, friends, and you all. You all have stuck by me in tough times and brought smiles to my face when I did not think I knew how. (No sarcasm here). Thank you all so much!

So tomorrow is a day of thanks. It is a day that family and friends gather together and eat lots of yummy food. I will gather with my in laws and remember, even though there will be a million babies, and everyone will focus there attention to them or the fact that my MIL is fighting with her brother. All kidding and sarcasm aside I will tryto remember how blessed I am. For one day I will focus on all that is good. Tomorrow I will CHOOSE to be happy and thankful for all that I have instead of the things I don't...

I hope...

Locked out

Not much going on with me. I am still trying to get used to Katie Jo not being here. I can't believe how different it feels. I haven't been through a day yet without shedding a tear or two. It really sucks to have to make a decision like that.

Anyway, yesterday my DH locked us out of the house. It sucked!! Our neighbors have a key but of course they were not home. DH had taken the key from our hiding spot and never replaced it and me being the super safe person that I am, I had all doors and windows locked up. So, it was a no go on breaking in. I guess that is reassuring, but yesterday it sucked. We couldn't go any where because, of course our car keys are attached to our house keys, so we had to sit on our porch and wait until our neighbors, HOPEFULLY, came home. 3 hrs and much aggravation later they came home and we were able to get back in.

Still no luck in the job department. I am hopefully going to be able to pay my RE the money I owe him in the next few weeks and will then be able to make an appointment to see him. Keeping my fingers crossed that it all works out the way I have planned. But, we all know what happens to the best of plans.

Sammy is still doing pretty good. Some days he seems to move slower then others but for the most part he is well. He clearly misses Katie. He has been sleeping in her favorite spots and he just looks really sad. Anyway, no big plans for the weekend. DH is working with his friend this weekend making some much needed extra cash. Plus tomorrow morning he has a meeting at work where they are going to pass out bonus checks. We are hoping it is good. I guess anything is better then nothing, so we will take whatever they give and consider it a blessing.

Thanks again for all your kind words in our difficult time this last week. You have brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart when I needed it most. That is why I just love this community so much. I don't know what I did before I had all of you! I hope you all have a great weekend!