Connection of the Heart <3

I had a really good time for girls weekend!!! Nothing like getting together with friends...drinking, eating, playing games, and laying on the beach. We had so much fun! I had some really good food. We had a dessert that was so good and it is really simple to make. It tastes just like a chocolate eclair...YUMMY!!!

There were 2 people at the girls weekend that I had never met before. I was a little nervous about this because you never know with new people. The inevitable questions about kids come up. Anyway, though they turned out to be great and the questions never came. I figured maybe my friends had warned them before hand not to ask me. I always wonder that when it does not come up. Funny though it bothers me a bit thinking that people are saying things about it behind my back, even though I know they mean well. However, I found out that that was not the case and it makes me love my friends even more! They don't treat me different and I appreciate that!

At the end of our time we were talking about something and I said I was a night person. I can stay up late but I said that is probably because I do not have any kids to which one of the girls said, "Oh, I thought you had a daughter?" (she must have assumed by a statement from some earlier story that my friend said, "oh see we reacted that way because we don't have boys." this must have made her assume I then had a girl). Anyway, I said, "No, hopefully someday." thinking why did I say anything, dummy you almost got through the whole time and did not have to explain anything. She then said "have you been trying for long?" Me.."yes, for nine years.(trying to think of a way out)" She..."what have you been trying?" Now, here I start to get irritated thinking, oh great you are going to be one of those people who tell me a friend of a friends aunts daughter tried such and such and it worked so you should give it a try. Already in that split second I am having the internal argument in my head that I DO NOT want to have out loud on fun girls weekend. Me..."I have tried everything up to IVF which I am unsuccessfully trying to save money for." She..." Do you go to XYZ clinic in XYZ city?"...Me.."yes, I do."...She..."who is your RE?"...Me..."Dr.Positive"...She..."Isn't he great? I love him." Everyone else..."what are you talking about you have kids?"...She..."yes but I had 1 loss and it took me 4 years to have my first."...Me...(big exhale)"You used him and were successful. I love hearing that!."...She..."stick with him...it will work." and that was the end of the conversation.

Infertility is so isolating that sometimes you feel like you are the only person on the planet who understands how it feels and then I meet someone that no one even realized knew the secret. She knew the pain and anguish. She knew what to say and where to end it and it instantly gave us a connection that no one else in that room had. It is a connection of the heart. She knew...I knew...and it so rare to be in a room with IRL friends that GET IT, it just made this weekend all that much better!

YAY for Girls Weekend!!!!

Not much has been going on the last few days. Still unemployed...still looking for work. I am getting pretty frustrated because it seems like everything I send my resume to ends up in someway being some sort of scam. It seems like there are just more and more people preying on the people who are struggling and it just is not right. Everyone says send me your credit report and then we will set up an interview. Yeah right sure let me just send you all my personal info and I have no idea who you are...let me get right on that. Every time I tell them before I do that could they please answer a few questions such as, what company is this? where are you located? and so on...I get no response. They are just hoping someone will blindly send them the requested information and then they steal their ID. Please anyone out their reading this...DO NOT FALL FOR THIS CRAP. If ANYONE asks you for this information all you have to do is do a search on their name and 99% of the time you will see many entries from people who got the same email requesting the same stuff and turned out to be a scam. I am sure most people know this but just in case I wanted to do a Public Service Announcement! With so much stuff on the internet you really need to protect yourself. Ask questions and if they are legitimate they will have no problem answering your questions and if they do have a problem then you do not want to work with them anyway. Ok I am done for now.

Anyway, I am getting ready for a girls weekend at the lake. Lots of drinking, eating, playing cards and just plain old fun! I can not wait! I love this place. We usually do this at least once a year. It is only about an hour away but it feels like you are hundreds or thousands of miles away. I think when you enter the lake area they have a mind eraser or something because no matter how stressed out or what I have going on in my life, as soon as I enter I forget all about it. I swear sometimes I sit there and try to figure out what the heck I was stressed out about. I love it! I wish I could stay there all the time. It is also very nice to get together with these friends because they do not get much time to be with just the girls. They both have 3 kids a piece and are hard working, busy moms. When they get up there it let all loose and have fun.I can't wait!!!!

So I will not be around until late Sunday or Monday. I will catch up then. I hope you all have a great weekend! Don't forget if you want to enter the Yoga DVD giveaway just comment on my last post. See ya later!

Fun times with the nephews

I had a great time with my nephews this weekend. We went a lot of places and just had a good old time. I got a taste, all be it a small one, but a taste none the less of what it feels like to be a mom. First of all it is EXHAUSTING. I was so tired out Sunday night I think I was in bed and asleep by 8:00, and if you know me at all you know I am a night owl. I am usually up to 1:00am on weeknights and who knows what time on weekends. But we did a lot of stuff. We kept them busy. We went to MIL's and took them swimming. I stayed out of the water but DH got in the freezing water and the kids and him had a blast. I watched and admired how easily it comes to DH to just be a kid and a "dad" at the same time. Kids just gravitate to him and he has so much fun. It is a shame he is not a dad yet.

We then took them to the pet store. Jo.ey loved the mice and No.ah loved the bunny rabbits. Just watching them run from place to place was so cute. Then we went to Mc.Dona1ds so they could play in the playscape. I was worried about No.ah because this thing is huge and I did not think he would be able to get up and around through the tunnels. I was picturing my fat butt trying to climb through these tunnels to rescue him and then me getting stuck and they have to call someone to come take thing apart. Not a pretty picture...LOL. Anyway I told Jo.ey to go and help him and then out pops No.ah from the slide. He was just fine and he ran around to do it again. They played so long in there that they were asking to go home. We went home and watched the movie Wa11.E. Jo.ey thought this was the most funny movie in the world! I was not crazy about it but I just watched him laughing so hard at it that it made me laugh. I just love to hear a kid laugh!

Sunday we took them to a graduation party which was in a park and they had a HUGE playscape. The kids had a ball. BIL did not even recognize us because we came with 2 kids. All day long Jo.ey just kept looking at me and saying, "I Love You Aunt Shell" and then he would give me a hug. Awww that just melts my heart. At the party I was thinking about how they both are at such a great age. You can talk to them and especially Jo.ey you can have a whole conversation with him. He has got the best memory. No.ah just says things so cute! Since there were a lot of teenagers there I was trying to imagine what these 2 will be like as teenagers and I just can not picture it. It seems so far away yet I know it will fly by fast!Anyway, we tired them out there and then took them home and they went straight in for a nap. Then mommy and daddy came home.

So it was a pretty good weekend. They were so good! I think next we are going to take them one at a time over night sometime this summer. We will let them choose what they want to do and have kind of like a Aunt and Uncle date night. Then the one who stays home can spend time with mom and dad. I think that will be lots of fun.

I had a good time this weekend playing "mommy". I hope someday soon I will be the real thing!