I Need Some Sleep!

I can not sleep and it is driving me crazy! I have always suffered from insomnia. I take a sleep medication for it but even that is not helping. It is seriously ridiculous! 2 nights ago I did not go to sleep until 10:30 AM...yes you read that right! I even tripled up on my sleep medication and NOTHING!! It was like I never even took it. I forced myself to get up at 1:00 when DH got home. I was exhausted all day but I figured that was good. I did not want to throw everything off and sleep all day. But as usual 10:00 PM rolled around and I was WIDE AWAKE! I did not fall asleep until 7:30 AM last night...or I should say this morning. I am really hoping tonight I go to bed early. There is not much to do at night! It sucks!


Usually, I always have the TV on in the background. It is something I have done for as long as I can remember. I always fall asleep to Nick at Nite or something like that. Why? because they are shows that I have seen a million times so they won't keep my attention. I barely have the sound on but I just like it on in the background. For some reason it helps.


 Well the other night, when I was up the entire night, I was watching because there is not much on except lame infomercials. I was watching "Ros.eanne". I have seen the shows a trillion times! However, there was one show that the end made me laugh and sad at the same time. At the end she came on because she had not been on the show and she stated it was because she was pregnant and on bed rest. She then goes on to a commentary. She says something to the effect of...(not exact)I would like to explain to all the little boys and girls that may be watching, where babies come from...Then she says...when a man and a woman want to have a baby they find another man or woman and we then they go down to the clinic and the man and the woman go into separate rooms. 15 or so doctors take the samples and manipulate them until they are certain that conception has occurred. She says, I am sure you can not imagine your own parents doing this but it is the most intimate and special thing that can happen between, a man, a woman, and their fertility specialist. I wish I could remember everything that was said or find a clip but I could not. I have seen this many times and never really noticed. I thought that was sad. I did not notice because to me that is my story. It was funny because not many people would do that and put it out there like that.


I started thinking about when I watched that when I was a teenager. I wondered if I ever even noticed it then? Did I think it was funny because yah right like that really happens! or that will never happen to me! Did I think she was joking? I remember being really young and hearing about "test tube babies". Of course it wasn't reality to me. I was a kid fantasizing about being a supreme court judge, running around with my friends, eating candy, mad about having a bed time, worried about if so and so was mad at me. You know the usual REAL IMPORTANT things in life. LOL It was futuristic stuff. It was not ever something that would happen to me.


Now I long for my "test tube baby". I look forward to the intimate rendevezvous with me, DH and my fertility specialist. The future is here and is now my reality and I really wish I could sleep!

Back to our regular scheduled programming

Ok I think we got the problem. I am feeling about 70% better. I was so excited that I felt better I went al out this weekend. Hubby and I had a great weekend. We went to the casino and won 2 days in a row and we went to the Red Wings Playoff game and they won. I found a FABULOUS bakery that had all kinds of goodies. So all in all it was a good weekend. Not to mention a lot less pain.

Today I went back to work. I have been wanting to go because I have been sick of sitting on my couch in my cocoon all day but now that I am feeling better I really did not want to go back. Today was a long day because I had to go through about 7000 emails and get set back up for virtually everything because they deactivated me. It was weird because when I am there it feels like same old same old everyday but being gone I realized how much everything changes on a daily basis. Almost everything changed while I was gone so I will spend the next few days trying to learn how to do all the new systems along with all the STUPID rules they decided to implement while I was gone. Also they changed my whole teams seats to the other side of the building. I no longer have my beautiful view. I knew they were going to move and before I left I sat down with my boss and came up with a great seating plan to which they proceeded to COMPLETELY change while I was gone. I think they were just waiting for that chance. Oh well I guess that is what I get for being gone for 2 months. With the way things change at my company I probably won't have to wait long for it to change again.

So I am happy to be back to normal. My hubby picks me up for work and says he is going to take the rest of the week off. I say why? he says I need a break. I say why didn't you do that while I was off? He says..."THAT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A VACATION"... what a funny, funny man I am married to.

I do have to say Thank you to him because he did so much for me while I was laid up and with virtually no serious complaints. he is a wonderful man I thank God for him everyday. I love you hunny!

Soon it will be on to fertility once again. From one frying pan to the next. Gotta love it!