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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday, September 22, 2008
What did you just say?
This weekend I was spending time with my mom and my sister. We had a good time laughing and talking.
Anyway, we started talking about funny things you said such as, I forever thought the words "wind chill" used in the winter to describe how fricken cold it gets here, was actually "wind shield" until my husband noticed and started laughing at me and told me what it really was. Seriously, that is what it sounds like...I'm sure others have made the same mistake...right? anyone? Ok maybe I'm alone in that...but my sister had one much better. We were driving and it was so funny that I almost had to pull over in a parking lot because I was laughing so hard I thought we would get in an accident.
Now, she is going to kill me for telling everyone, but it is so funny. She says that her husband and her are driving in the car with the radio on, and the song "Natural Woman" by Aretha Franklin came on and she started singing until her husband turns down the radio and says "what did you just say?". L said "I instantly knew I sang the wrong words"...and oh yes she did. I said what were they, and I did not expect these words at all. She says "well I know now that it says 'you make me feel like a natural woman'". I said "yes but what did you think it said?" L: "Promise you won't tell anyone?" Me & mom: "Sure, just tell us"...L: "I thought it said ' you make me feel like a man but your a woman'" Me:"Whaaaaaat? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH...
that does not make any sense!" L: "I know but I thought that is what it said". So now my mom and I have been telling everyone...when she made us promise she didn't tell us how funny it was. It's a good thing she doesn't know about this blog. I'm sure you all won't tell.
But, so I do not just tell others embarrassing stories I will tell one of mine...
My DH loves all kinds of music, from country to hard rock, from classical to rap, he listens to everything. He also goes to a million concerts. Him and his friend go all the time, well not recently but they go a lot! Anyway, one day a couple years ago I am going through our finances and I notice there is $100 missing so I go to DH and ask where the money went and he says
"I bought corn tickets."
Me: "Corn tickets?"
DH: "Yes, I told you I was getting them"
Me: " Uh, no you didn't."
DH: getting upset " I told you last week"
Me: "Nooo, I would remember corn tickets!"
DH: " I told you I was going with S! I hate it when you don't listen to me!"
now we are starting to yell at each other...
Me: " I don't even like corn! "
DH: "But I do and I wanted the tickets! You don't have to like everything I like!"
here is the kicker...
Me: "Is there some kind of shortage on corn, where we need to get tickets to purchase it and stand in some line...like they are rationing corn?"
DH: "What???????" laughing hysterically now "KoRn, is a band you dork!" "How old are you anyway?"
Me: "Ohhhh...that makes so much more sense!"
So what is yours? What phrase, song, or embarrassing mistake did you make? Come on, share with the group...we won't be laughing at you, we will be laughing with you...and I promise we won't tell anyone.... We could all use a good laugh! :)
Anyway, we started talking about funny things you said such as, I forever thought the words "wind chill" used in the winter to describe how fricken cold it gets here, was actually "wind shield" until my husband noticed and started laughing at me and told me what it really was. Seriously, that is what it sounds like...I'm sure others have made the same mistake...right? anyone? Ok maybe I'm alone in that...but my sister had one much better. We were driving and it was so funny that I almost had to pull over in a parking lot because I was laughing so hard I thought we would get in an accident.
Now, she is going to kill me for telling everyone, but it is so funny. She says that her husband and her are driving in the car with the radio on, and the song "Natural Woman" by Aretha Franklin came on and she started singing until her husband turns down the radio and says "what did you just say?". L said "I instantly knew I sang the wrong words"...and oh yes she did. I said what were they, and I did not expect these words at all. She says "well I know now that it says 'you make me feel like a natural woman'". I said "yes but what did you think it said?" L: "Promise you won't tell anyone?" Me & mom: "Sure, just tell us"...L: "I thought it said ' you make me feel like a man but your a woman'" Me:"Whaaaaaat? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH...
that does not make any sense!" L: "I know but I thought that is what it said". So now my mom and I have been telling everyone...when she made us promise she didn't tell us how funny it was. It's a good thing she doesn't know about this blog. I'm sure you all won't tell.
But, so I do not just tell others embarrassing stories I will tell one of mine...
My DH loves all kinds of music, from country to hard rock, from classical to rap, he listens to everything. He also goes to a million concerts. Him and his friend go all the time, well not recently but they go a lot! Anyway, one day a couple years ago I am going through our finances and I notice there is $100 missing so I go to DH and ask where the money went and he says
"I bought corn tickets."
Me: "Corn tickets?"
DH: "Yes, I told you I was getting them"
Me: " Uh, no you didn't."
DH: getting upset " I told you last week"
Me: "Nooo, I would remember corn tickets!"
DH: " I told you I was going with S! I hate it when you don't listen to me!"
now we are starting to yell at each other...
Me: " I don't even like corn! "
DH: "But I do and I wanted the tickets! You don't have to like everything I like!"
here is the kicker...
Me: "Is there some kind of shortage on corn, where we need to get tickets to purchase it and stand in some line...like they are rationing corn?"
DH: "What???????" laughing hysterically now "KoRn, is a band you dork!" "How old are you anyway?"
Me: "Ohhhh...that makes so much more sense!"
So what is yours? What phrase, song, or embarrassing mistake did you make? Come on, share with the group...we won't be laughing at you, we will be laughing with you...and I promise we won't tell anyone.... We could all use a good laugh! :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Godzilla Spider!
I am exhausted today and I will tell you why, but first let me say it may turn out to be a "you had to be there" or at least " I wish you were there" because it was funny, kind of thing. Anyway, also, let me preface by saying I HATE ALL BUGS!!!! Most anything creepy crawly I hate!!!
Ok, so yesterday morning I woke up to get ready for work. My husband and I only have one car so it is kind of a well coordinated ballet dance we have to perform everyday to get us both to work and home on time. He works 4:00am - 1:00pm and I work 8:30 am - 5:00pm. He gets up , goes to work and then takes his lunch to come pick me up at 7:30. At 1:00 I take my lunch and take him home and then go back to work. So needless to say it is a lot of driving but the fortunate thing is we work right across the street from each other and we only live like 5-6 miles from work.
So, I was getting ready for work and I walked into my kitchen to give my dogs some water only to find the biggest ugliest spider I have ever seen. I mean I wish I would have taken a picture but I was too paralized to think. It was like somebody was doing nuclear testing nearby and the spider got in the mix. It was HUGE!!!! and it was UGLY!!! I backed up, went into the other room and finished getting ready. My husband called to tell me he was on his way home and I said "when you get here you need to kill this spider!". He was like "Come on, get a shoe and kill it!" I said, "You do not understand, if I go near it with a shoe it will probably tear the shoe out of my hand and throw it across the room." He laughed and said I was just exaggerating. I sat down waiting for him to get home and keeping an eye on the spider at the same time.
Enter, Mia, my cat. She LOVES bugs or anything creepy crawly, just like most cats. Not that she likes to kill them, she just like to play with them until she gets bored. She runs over to the spider and it takes off towards me across the floor. I scream, jump up on the couch...and now I have lost the spider. I do not know where it went. I was very distraught about the whole thing because I had visions of this spider lying in wait for me all day. I know it is ridiculous but like I said I hate them...I have a border line irrational (maybe not so borderline) fear of them. But I like snakes, go figure that one.
So now the funny part. I go about my evening...no sign of the spider. So my anxiety lessened and I went to bed...LATE (about 1:30) because I had to catch up on all my reality shows ( I am a reality show addict). At about 4:30 in the morning, I roll over and out of the corner of my eye I see something huge and black on my pillow...now remember, I am not fully awake and I have a crazy fear. So huge and black on my pillow... Now I wish I would have been video taping because I would have won a lot of money for this...I jumped out of bed, faster then I have ever moved in my life. I threw my pillows and blanket across the room, screaming I ran into the living room doing the heebie jeebie dance because I thought the thing was on me. I started thinking "why hasn't DH reacted and coming to my resue?" and then I realized he was at work. So now I have to go back in the bedroom in the dark, by myself, and because I threw everything across the room...I again have no idea where the Godzilla of spiders is at. I tip toe in the room, like I am going to sneak up on it or something, and turn on the light. I climb on the bed and lean over to thoroughly shake out my blanket and to look on the floor, in the bed, under the bed, and on the walls for this spider. When I lift up the pillows, there it is... a huge....black....
candy wrapper!!!! I mean I am glad it was just a candy wrapper but come on. In my defense at 4:30 in the morning , in the dark, there was no telling what it could be and I had visions of a ravenous spider coming after me. I have laughed about this all day because I can only imagine what I looked like this morning going crazy over a candy wrapper! So like I said it might be a "you had to be there" kind of thing but I thought I would share my funny morning.
By the way...I still do not have any idea where the spider is...
Ok, so yesterday morning I woke up to get ready for work. My husband and I only have one car so it is kind of a well coordinated ballet dance we have to perform everyday to get us both to work and home on time. He works 4:00am - 1:00pm and I work 8:30 am - 5:00pm. He gets up , goes to work and then takes his lunch to come pick me up at 7:30. At 1:00 I take my lunch and take him home and then go back to work. So needless to say it is a lot of driving but the fortunate thing is we work right across the street from each other and we only live like 5-6 miles from work.
So, I was getting ready for work and I walked into my kitchen to give my dogs some water only to find the biggest ugliest spider I have ever seen. I mean I wish I would have taken a picture but I was too paralized to think. It was like somebody was doing nuclear testing nearby and the spider got in the mix. It was HUGE!!!! and it was UGLY!!! I backed up, went into the other room and finished getting ready. My husband called to tell me he was on his way home and I said "when you get here you need to kill this spider!". He was like "Come on, get a shoe and kill it!" I said, "You do not understand, if I go near it with a shoe it will probably tear the shoe out of my hand and throw it across the room." He laughed and said I was just exaggerating. I sat down waiting for him to get home and keeping an eye on the spider at the same time.
Enter, Mia, my cat. She LOVES bugs or anything creepy crawly, just like most cats. Not that she likes to kill them, she just like to play with them until she gets bored. She runs over to the spider and it takes off towards me across the floor. I scream, jump up on the couch...and now I have lost the spider. I do not know where it went. I was very distraught about the whole thing because I had visions of this spider lying in wait for me all day. I know it is ridiculous but like I said I hate them...I have a border line irrational (maybe not so borderline) fear of them. But I like snakes, go figure that one.
So now the funny part. I go about my evening...no sign of the spider. So my anxiety lessened and I went to bed...LATE (about 1:30) because I had to catch up on all my reality shows ( I am a reality show addict). At about 4:30 in the morning, I roll over and out of the corner of my eye I see something huge and black on my pillow...now remember, I am not fully awake and I have a crazy fear. So huge and black on my pillow... Now I wish I would have been video taping because I would have won a lot of money for this...I jumped out of bed, faster then I have ever moved in my life. I threw my pillows and blanket across the room, screaming I ran into the living room doing the heebie jeebie dance because I thought the thing was on me. I started thinking "why hasn't DH reacted and coming to my resue?" and then I realized he was at work. So now I have to go back in the bedroom in the dark, by myself, and because I threw everything across the room...I again have no idea where the Godzilla of spiders is at. I tip toe in the room, like I am going to sneak up on it or something, and turn on the light. I climb on the bed and lean over to thoroughly shake out my blanket and to look on the floor, in the bed, under the bed, and on the walls for this spider. When I lift up the pillows, there it is... a huge....black....
candy wrapper!!!! I mean I am glad it was just a candy wrapper but come on. In my defense at 4:30 in the morning , in the dark, there was no telling what it could be and I had visions of a ravenous spider coming after me. I have laughed about this all day because I can only imagine what I looked like this morning going crazy over a candy wrapper! So like I said it might be a "you had to be there" kind of thing but I thought I would share my funny morning.
By the way...I still do not have any idea where the spider is...
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