What is up with me?

Well, what has been going on with me? Not much but first let me update from yesterday. I still can not get my door open. Luckily we can use the back door however, that is a pain in the ass. We have to open are back gate which is also covered by a wood fence and it is hard to open. Along with the fact that the latch is pretty rusted and it is hard to get open on a normal day let alone when it is like 5 degrees outside. We can't just leave it open because then our dog will get out. We tried unscrewing the handle on our front door but we can't get it out since the latch is stuck in the locked position. I tried goog.le but it was not much help. We don't want to break it yet because we have to buy a new one first. That will have to wait until next week when I have some money. It is just really frustrating Just to get my mail I have to get dressed with boots and all. Never realized how important it was to have a front door. This is just weird. I have never heard of this happening to a door and it is not like it is old. The doors were brand new when we moved in like 6 years ago. UGH!

We have just been passing sickness and colds back and forth throughout the family and that is just so much fun. I have been really focusing on trying to find a job and there just is not much choices out there. I have been applying for some government jobs. I am not to hopeful but it would be nice. I have also been looking into working at a call center from home. A lot of places are going toward doing this now and that would be PERFECT! The only thing is I need to get a land line phone and headset which I do not have the money for right this moment. I think my DH is getting sick of me being home. How do I know this? I think it is because of my strong attention to detail and observation. My ability to read my hubby really well...or it could be because he has said "WOULD YOU PLEASE GO TO WORK YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY" (LOL I am sure he meant it in the nicest possible way)We went from barely seeing each other because for the first 13 years we worked opposite schedules. He worked nights and I worked days. Then last year he changed to working early mornings so he goes to bed usually by 7 pm. Now we are together ALL the TIME!! (side note: he is reading over my shoulder right now and said this needs a few more exclamation points...I married a funny, funny man!) I feel bad because I know it must be tough for him to go to work every day knowing that I am sitting at home and it is not like I have kids to take care of or something really important to do. I enjoy not going to a job I despise but it does get pretty boring. I want to find a job I would enjoy or work from home. There just is not many choices out there.

Money has been VERY TIGHT. Next month is our last month of the agreement we made with our mortgage company so I am not sure what is going to happen because we surely can not afford a full payment. Every day I think about when am I going to be able to get into me RE? I am turning 36 in a week and a half (Super Bowl Sunday) and this has me depressed beyond words. Now I am over 35 and we all know what that means. I am hoping that since my body always seems to do the exact opposite of what it is suppose to do maybe now I will get pregnant and stay pregnant no problem. I almost said that with a straight face...one can dream can't they?

Hubby got the results from his sleep study. They fitted him with the CPAP machine because he DEFINITELY has sleep apnea. They told him that he stops breathing 151 times an hour. UM WHAT!?! Is he ever breathing? That is more then twice a minute. He went back for them to fit him with the machine and he had to sleep there again so they could make sure it works. It did and we are waiting for the insurance to go through for the machine. Hopefully soon...I would like to go back to sleeping in my bed.

Thanks to Michele at I want to be a mommy I won one of her cute blankets that she makes. Thanks Michele, I can't wait to get it!! I will post a picture when I do. Anyway, that is all I have for now. I hope all of you are doing well!

xxoo

HELP!!!

Need HELP!!! My front door will not open. We can unlock it and turn the handle but the bolt or whatever that thing is called that is suppose to go in when you turn the handle will not!. Now I can't open my front door. Anyone know what to do? At least I know no one can break in.

This cracks me up!!!

Have you seen this commercial? It CRACKS ME UP EVERY TIME!!!!

UPDATE to yesterday's post

This is pissing me off beyond words. I may be looking to move to another state soon. HMM perhaps one that covers infertility. Here is an update to yesterday's post. Please if you are in Michigan please continue to email your Senators.

January 20, 2010 Update
The Michigan Senate Health Policy Committee voted today and passed all six of the bills listed below.  RESOLVE is determining next steps but we anticipate a vote in the Michigan Senate. We will need all Michigan residents to speak out against these bills!  Please check back to this site for further updates and email RESOLVE if you can assist in this effort at info@resolve.org.

Bill Information
RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association has learned of a series of bills -- Senate Bill Nos. 647, 648, 649, 650, 651, and 652 and House Bill Nos. 5131, 5132, 5133, 5134, 5130, and 5129 (the “Bills”) – pending in the Michigan state legislature that threaten the interests of infertility patients.  The Senate Bills are up for immediate hearing, and we urge residents of Michigan to let the legislators know that they oppose these Bills.

While the Bills purport to regulate stem cell research, they actually go much further:  they mandate vast, new Governmental surveillance of infertility patients and their treatment.  Under these bills, the Government would collect and publicize intimate information about infertility patients.  The Bills would unreasonably burden the treating physicians and would certainly raise the cost of medical treatments to have a baby.  They would also add so many conditions that few people could exercise their choice to donate surplus embryos to research.  For these reasons, RESOLVE opposes these Bills and urges that they be rejected.

ATTN: MICHIGAN RESIDENTS IMPORTANT ACTION NEEDED

For all those that do not know. I received an email from RESOLVE regarding 6 bills that are being voted on tomorrow. These bills are going to make things VERY difficult for people seeking IVF in Michigan. Here is the email I received. Please, if you live in MIchigan, take the few minutes to follow the links and email the senators in Michigan to vote AGAINST these bills.

*******************************************************************************


Dear Michigan Residents,
RESOLVE needs your urgent and immediate action on a series of bills introduced in the Michigan State Senate that will threaten access to IVF treatments, invade the privacy of patients pursuing IVF, and take away free choice over the disposition of patients’ own surplus embryos.
The Senate Health Committee is getting ready to vote on Wednesday, January 20, 2010 on Senate Bill Nos. 647, 648, 649, 650, 651, and 652.
RESOLVE is asking Michigan residents who care about open access to the best care possible to let the Committee members know TODAY that you oppose the bills!
What you can do TODAY to make your voice heard:
1. Click here to immediately send a letter to key State Senators.  Please consider personalizing your letter by sharing some of your story.

2. Call your Senator and tell him or her to please vote against these bills. To find your Senator and their contact information, click here.  Simply tell them you are a constituent and oppose the above listed bills.
3. Come to the Senate hearing at the Senate Hearing Room in Lansing:
    Wednesday, January 20, 2010
    Time:    3: 00 p.m.
    Place:    Senate Hearing R oom
    Ground Floor, Boji Tower
    124 W. Allegan Street  
     Lansing , MI 48933
4. Forward this email to everyone you know who is a Michigan resident and ask them to call their Senator or send the letter to the key Senators.  Even if they have not been diagnosed with infertility, their voices can still be heard!
5. Post this message in your Facebook status: "Please help me fight the MI State Senate!  There are six bills up for vote WEDNESDAY that will make it hard for MI residents with infertility to access IVF.  Visit www.resolve.org/ta_stleg_MI for details. "
6. Become a "Fan of RESOLVE" on Facebook for instant updates to this legislation. Click here.
At the hearing, the Committee may hear testimony both for and against the bills.  The hearing is open to the public and RESOLVE encourages you to come to Lansing and attend.
For more detailed analysis of the bills, click here.
To read the bills, click here. 
These bills have nothing to do with protection of infertility patients. They have nothing to do with making care better, safer or more accessible. They are about one thing: making access to IVF more difficult and preventing a fertility patient from making decisions regarding their own treatment for a disease.
No other disease is subjected to this level of governmental scrutiny.  These provisions would go far beyond what is currently mandated by federal law.
Please say NO!  It is important that your Senators hear from you!  Click here to send your letter to key Senators including the Committee right now!
Thank you for taking action today!
Barbara Collura
Executive Director

Funny conversations kids have

So we went to my MIL and then sisters house on Saturday to celebrate DH's b-day. We had a good time. DH was happy because he got his favorite in both places. At his moms German chocolate cake with mint choco chip ice cream and at my sisters chocolate cream pie. I do not really like either but I tried the choco cream pie my BIL made and it was so very very good. Then we played cards and had a good time. Poor hubby has got a pretty bad cold now. I am hoping and praying I do not get it but I think I am fated to do so. I have been feeling light headed and just over all crummy.

Anyway, when we were at my sis's house, she had put the kids to bed. They sleep in the same room and did not want to go because grandma and we were there. The kids were very excited about Uncle's b-day. They made mom stop and get balloons because as Joey said. Uncle D would be so sad if he did not have balloons. So she put the kids to bed and they are the ones that love balloons so they each had one with them. They had Grandma come in and kiss them goodnight and tie the balloons to their beds. About 15 minutes later I had to go to the bathroom and this is the conversation I hear coming from their room.

First I walk into the bathroom and I hear little feet running into their beds. Then

Joey (4): Noah, make some noise
Noah (2): Little noise comes out
J: I need my balloon it got away. Noah, go get Grandma
N: I am scared.
J: Noah, say I
N: I
J: Am
N: Am
J: Not
N: Not
J: Scared
N: SCARED
J: Good, go get Grandma now.
N: I am scared!!!
J: You just said you weren't!

This had me cracking up. Older brother is trying to get younger brother in trouble and being really smart about it. I just love how kids minds work. Too cute!

Happy day...Sad day

So today is DH birthday! To my rock, the love of my life, and the greatest man I have ever known...Happy Birthday! I love you so much. I do not know what I would do without you.

Today, also happens to be the anniversary of my first loss. The first time that all my dreams for what life would be, came crashing down around me. It was a day I will never forget. I am just so sorry it also happens to be on DH birthday. What a crappy reminder!

It is hard to pretend like today is just a happy day and we need to celebrate, but I do it. I do it for him because he deserves it. He deserves a day to not talk about or think about the fact that our dreams may never come true. He deserves for today NOT to be a reminder that 5 years ago was one of the worst days of our lives. That I did not drop to my knees when I got the phone call and screamed louder then I thought possible, BEGGING for it to not be true! We won't talk about how I dragged him to the hospital that day because I did not want to believe it! I wanted someone else to tell me that the doctor was ALL WRONG! So I dragged him to the hospital and sat there for hours only to be told that they could not see anything. They said it was probably too early as I was only 6 weeks. (I did not tell them that I was already told I had a miscarriage). When they told me, they probably wondered why I burst into tears. It is because I knew the truth...

We won't talk about that today. Today will be a day for him. A day that we celebrate the man I LOVE MORE THEN ANYTHING!!

Tomorrow we will remember and be sad...


xxooxxoo

It is Friday Night!

So it is Friday night and what do I a 30 something young ;0 woman have on my exciting agenda tonight. I mean since I have no children I must be planning an extravagant trip to some exotic island or planning an elaborate party for all us "child free" folks. The ones that are laughing at all you suckers...I mean parents out there who have to worry about things like a (gasp) babysitter (note the major sarcasm that you can't hear in my head...but it is there trust me!). Not me you all...My big plans...sitting at home watching a movie...by myself. Depressing isn't it?

Not only do I not get the blessing of children but I get the blessing of having finances like a family of 5 with a budget of a family of 2. It really sucks! I don't get to enjoy this time. It really bugs me! Anyway, tonight DH is going for a sleep study. He has had this referral from his doctor for over a year now but he finally is doing it. I am excited because maybe they can help his HORRIFIC snoring problem and then maybe I can spend an actual whole entire night in my own bed. AHHH to dream...it would be so nice! You see since I am not working right now I am the nice wife and I go out on the couch so I do not have to hit him every 5 minutes to tell him to SHUT UP or ROLL OVER (which never works). So here is hoping that all goes well. I was suppose to go for this sleep study as well. The problem is, I am not sure what they would study since my problem is terrible insomnia. They want you to come in from 9:00 to 6:00. So basically they would study me for an hour or two. Who can fall asleep at 9:00?   Well I do know one person...DH...but that is only because he gets up at 3:00am.

So does anyone have any big Friday night or weekend plans? Tell me and then maybe I can live vicariously through you...

xxxooo

It is a New Year!!

Well Finally it is 2010! YAY I am very happy about that. I had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! This year we spent Christmas Eve at the in laws and then Christmas day with my sister. We had a good time and it was better then going to both places in one day. My nephews of course were so very cute! It was the first year that both of them understood what was going on and it was fun to watch. Then that night my mom, my sis and I went to see "It's Complicated". I was not to excited about seeing it but it turned out to be pretty funny and better then I thought.

New Years we did our usual of going to my friends and eating and drinking ourselves silly. I drank more that night then I have in a VERY long time. It was fun. Dh got sick and then this past weekend I was sick but finally we are all feeling better.

I took a break from blogging during the holidays because I was really trying not to focus on being sad or bummed out. I wanted to enjoy this time so I just tried to push it all out of my mind. For the most part it worked and I had a nice couple weeks. Now that I have my new insurance I am going to have to get into my RE soon and find out what we will be able to do or not do.  Hopefully 2010 will be a much better year for me.

I hope you all had great holidays and I will be getting caught up with you all.

xxoo