No money + bad decisions = BIG TROUBLE

Well, my dear internet friends it has been a tough last 7 days. I feel like I am sinking in quicksand and having a hard time keeping my head above. This is all because of some bad decisions on my part and things out of my control. Maybe I shouldn't put this all out there but right now I feel like my head is going to burst and I just need to get it out...

 So you all know that I lost my job last June after being screwed over and this was after being out of work for 3 months due to a back injury. Anyway, because of a major lack of fundage we ended up just having our leased vehicle repossessed. It seemed like the only option at the time. I mean we had a leased vehicle that we were paying a whopping 575.00 a month for and when we were to turn in the car in September we would have been at about 65,000 miles and we were only aloud to go 36,000 so that was at 15 cents a mile for every mile over for a total of 4350.00 and then the wear and tear because we had a cracked windshield and REALLY bad tires that we would have had to fork out a couple hundred for before we turned the car in. We figured if we just let them repossess it for the last of the few months we had left we might end up better off. Who knows, as far as money goes it may end up to be cheaper but let me tell you it definitely is not less stressful!

Yesterday, we made the mistake of answering the door only to be served with a summons for the car. Now, I knew this was coming but yet it has totally stressed me out. The summons does not say much but that we have 21 days to respond and they are suing for 6200 plus costs and interest. Well, I made an appointment with a bankruptcy attorney because that was pretty much always the plan. We were going to wait until the last possible second, which was getting something saying the were taking us to court over the car, we will not win because lets face it we did not pay as agreed. Now before this ever happened my credit was not good. We had been working on fixing this but when I got injured and then lost my job everything went out the window. We will not win and then they will garnish wages and that DEFINITELY CAN NOT HAPPEN. So we figured we would declare bankruptcy and start over. Not something I am proud of or wanted to do but I feel I am left with little options. We do not really have anyone to turn to for help so what choice do we have?

Anyway, we have an appointment tomorrow morning to see what our options are but I am worried because I am not sure how we are going to pay for the bankruptcy itself. What do you do when you are too poor to go bankrupt? I think that is pretty bad. Now all this is on top of last Friday getting a notice from the IRS saying they were placing a Levy on us do to not paying 2008 takes. We made a payment arrangement and in January I paid the payment online but apparently they credited it to 2009 taxes. Um...haven't even filed those yet. Do you really think I am paying 2009 in advance when I haven't even paid 2008 yet...the answer would be NO. Luckily I looked at my confirmation online and figured out the problem and called the IRS and got it fixed but it really is not a certified letter you want to get in the mail. Also, on the same day we got something from our mortgage company saying our work out plan had expired and they were rereviewing it and needed some additional info and then a letter from the city because we kind of have neglected paying our water bill in a LONG time. They always sent a letter and said we had to pay the balance by some far out date or it would be attached to the taxes on our house which I figured was fine with me since that always came out of mortgage payment and the water isI not attached to my name so I figured fine by me...until...last Friday they said they were going to put a lien on our house until we pay them 436.00 by 03/31/10. Can you say STRESSFUL!!!

I mean this is all not a surprise and it is our fault but all at one time COME ON!!!! Not to mention unemployment was in question this week because it expired on Sunday and 1 senator was holding the approving of extensions but thankfully it was approved on Tuesday at least for another month while they try to work out the details for a longer extension. I mean they bail out all the big corps why should they not bail out all the people who need it? I can not even tell you how many resumes and applications have been sent out and I have not gotten 1 response...I am just sick to my stomach!

Right now I am feeling like a big failure and a loser and I am wondering if I am EVER going to be able to have a baby. Not to mention I was cleaning and I twisted or turned, bent over...something and totally killed my back. I was suppose to go out tonight but I CAN NOT DO that at all so I am staying home. Tomorrow I have the appointment with the lawyer and a wedding to go to. I hope I feel better.

I could really use some positive words and some prayers and anything else you can send my way. It ha been a tough week but I am hoping the bad news is over...please!