I look at you and I wonder...What would it be like to be you? How does it ACTUALLY feel to be a different person then who I am right now. I am sitting at my computer and typing away. What are you doing?
We are driving down the same road and my thoughts seem to jump from "wow what a beautiful day" to "I wish I had a child to take to the park to enjoy this day". As you drive, do you wish you could get a moment to yourself? To sit at a park bench and feel the sun on your face. No children screaming mommy.
I come home to an excited dog happy to see me and a hug from my husband but the quiet is what screams in my face. No children begging for my attention, running to my arms. You arrive home to a sibling argument needing a referee and everyone wanting to know what is for dinner. I have no idea what that feels like but I want to...
I sit on my couch and tell my husband about my day. We make dinner and wonder if we are going to have too much since it is only the 2 of us. Are you wondering if you will have enough? After dinner we watch our favorite programs. We do not have to wait for the kids to go to bed because right now all that the TV plays is cartoons. You probably know every word to the "Lion King" and I could not even tell you the plot of the movie.
I go to bed. No bed time stories, no sweet tender kisses. Just the snoring from my hubby and the TV I keep on in the background to keep me company. I sleep through the night and wake when I feel like it. I am sure you are begging for a full nights sleep or a couple extra hours.
The next day for me is more of the same. Is yours different from day to day? I would imagine with children it is... I don't know what it is like to be you but you have an idea what it is like to be me. Does that make it harder? easier? I look at you and think "oh what I would not give to have that. Does she appreciate it like I would?" Do you look at me and think the same?
I know I am BLESSED. I know the "grass is always greener", "be careful what you wish for", and "be happy with what you have". I understand that...I do. I am grateful for many things...I truly am...
I want to know what it is like to be someone else. I want to be a MOM. I want it so bad my heart aches like no ache I can ever describe. I want to know what it is like to not have this emptiness in my heart. I want to know what it is like to feel...COMPLETE...??!!!