Show and Tell

I am feeling better now. Still have a cold but I don't feel like the living dead anymore. Thank you for your well wishes. Now on to my show and tell this week...

My friend made me this bracelet. I love it. She knows I love charm bracelets and vintage stuff . It may not be that clear of a picture, it was taken with my cell phone. That is the only camera I have since my husband broke mine. Anyway, the white button on the left is over 80 years old and there is a beautiful little string of pearls.  She is too good to me.

If you would like to play along with show and tell or just see what others are showing this week head on over to Mel's place at Stirrup Queens and join the fun.

I'm sick! :(

So here I sit with my head feeling like a million pounds, my throat scratchy, tired because I couldn't sleep all last night because of coughing and not being able to breathe. I hate it. It's that time of year again. I'm sick! It sucks! The end!

Wishing for a baby (pity party still going strong)

It's so amazing to me. The fact that this population goes on. The fact that people have babies everyday. The beautifulness (is that a word?) that is birth. I mean 1000's of babies are born everyday...but I can't seem to get a piece of the beauty! I am in constant awe that there are people out there that get pregnant without a thought, many who don't even WANT to be pregnant. How does this happen?

I wish I didn't know what I know. I wish I could go about life oblivious to all that could go wrong. To all the pain and heartache. I wish I did not have to know my cycle. Know when I ovulate (or don't for that matter). Know about the 2ww wait. Know exactly when I am pregnant and exactly when it ends. The people who don't know these things seem so much happier. I want some of the happiness! I want to believe that when I want something that if I hope enough, believe enough and try hard enough it will come to me. I want to believe that as soon as I get pregnant that will be the happy ending because surely I will have a baby. That's all it takes, right?

I wish I didn't know that it was possible for your heart to break into a million pieces many times and you would still survive. I don't want to know that no matter how many times you knock me down that I will get back up and try again. I don't like feeling this way. Feeling that the emptiness in the crib and in my heart may never be filled. A dream never fulfilled. Hope lost. So much love and no baby to give it to. Ugh...If only my wishes, dreams, and prayers would come true...

More Metformin Madness

I think the devil himself created Metformin. I feel like crap! I had forgotten...remind me to never do this again. (no really please remind me) I know some of you do not know this wonderful drug used for most people that have PCOS. Consider yourself Lucky!! Because the side effects Suck! with a capital SUCK!!!!  They say it is suppose to help you ovulate and lessen your chances of miscarriage which is generally high for the lucky ones that have PCOS. I am willing to go through hell, if that is what it takes but so far Metformin has not cooperated with me. It has not showed me all it can do.  I have yet to see the wonderful results (aka a live baby) but I will try. I will hope and everytime I have a visit with my new BFF I will remember why I am doing this (not to mention I don't want to end up diabetic or any of the other health risks associated with PCOS). I just feel chained to my house, my stomach is upset, I feel like someone with a steam roller has rolled over and backed up and did it again.  So thats it my pity party for today. Sorry if I am harping on this thing but did I mention it SUCKS??? 

Met"evil"formin

Well, I started back on Metformin again.  I, being the dummy I am, decided after my miscarriage in July that I was going to take a break from taking it. I figured it didn't help me with that pregnancy so I was mad and I stopped.  I am regretting that decision now!  I know I shouldn't have stopped. I know it's not just so I can get pregnant, it is also for insulin resistence but I was bitter so I thought I would show it...I just wouldn't take it...it didn't do anything for me...I wouldn't do anything for it. I know logical thinking, right? But in my defense I was not in a good place.

When I stopped I had finally gotten used to the medication. I didn't have to run to the bathroom if I had a fricken piece of bread. I could enjoy food again. What the hell was I thinking?...I wasn't! Now I am back to square one...Let me introduce you to my new (actually old and familiar) best friend...

Who is getting the last laugh?...Met"evil"formin

Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act

Antigone is recruiting us to take action to spread awareness about pregnancy and infant loss.

I have not had a stillbirth, however, I have had 4 miscarriages and the pain is great. I can not even imagine the pain of stillbirth. It weighs heavily on my mind and I do not want anyone to have to go through this if there is a way do research and prevent it. So with that said...


October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.

Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.

Action Steps:

Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.

GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.

GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."

GOAL: 1,000,000 Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages - most of which have nothing to do with the bill.