Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Hershey's Better Basket Blog Hop

So Easter is coming and what is fun and yummy about Easter? Easter baskets. I have always loved them especially ones filled with my favorite...Hershey's chocolate. What could be better?

How about a basket for my bloggy friend filled with virtual chocolate? No...not as good as the real thing. Well I kinda agree but this is for a good cause. The Therapist Is In left me a basket on her blog supporting  The Hershey's Better Basket Blog Hop. Join me and you can help raise $5000 for the Children's Miracle Network.

All you have to do is follow these easy rules...

HERSHEY’S BETTER BASKET BLOG HOP RULES

  • Copy and paste these rules to your blog post.
  • Create a blog post giving a virtual Easter Basket to another blogger – you can give as many Virtual Baskets as you want.
  • Link back to person who gave you an Easter Basket.
  • Let each person you are giving a Virtual Easter Basket know you have given them a Basket.
  • Leave your link at BetterBasket.info/BlogHop comment section. You can also find the official rules of this #betterbasket blog hop, and more information about Better Basket with Hershey’s there.
  • Hershey’s is donating $10 per each blog participating to the Better Basket Blog Hop to Children’s Miracle Network (up to total of $5,000 by blog posts written by April 4th, 2010).
  • Please note that only one blog post by each blog url will count towards the donation.
I'm leaving a bloggy Easter basket for . . .




and anyone else who would like to join a good cause.

Happy Easter all!

Monday, March 29, 2010

It was in the movie. It MUST be true! ;0

So I had a pretty boring weekend. Yesterday was rainy and just plain blah. Just watched movies with hubby. He is very excited because in 1 week he will be on vacation. We, of course, are not doing anything but he definitely needs and deserves the time off.

We went and got a 2nd opinion from another lawyer at the end of last week. This lawyer said we COULD claim chapter 7. Now I am confused. I did not want to tell him we saw another lawyer so I just kept asking are you sure? He said yes. So we are going to go with him but I am going to expect that when he actually crunches the numbers he will see that we have to do chapter 13. I will expect that and be happy if that does not happen. We have an appointment 04/07 to get everything officially rolling. I can not wait til it is over!

On the lighter side of things...I just wanted to tell all of you I have found some answers that I have been seeking for a long time...

Saturday, I went to my sisters to see my nephews and when they went to bed her and i watched a movie. Have any of you seen The Time Trave.ler's Wife? Well don't if you haven't it was a BIG waste of time! It was a terrible movie but it wa in this movie I found my answers. See the woman had a miscarriage and at first I was like...great not again. It seems they are sticking this in every movie and show lately. Then she had multiple miscarriages and they figured it out that the reason she was having these miscarriages was because the baby had the same thing the father did and so the baby was time traveling outside of the womb and when this happened since the baby was not developed yet of course she miscarried. It was the that a light bulb went off in my head...Ah HAH that is the answer! Many doctors have not been able to figure why I "habitually miscarry". Now I am going to make an appointment and tell them about this new found information. I am sure they never thought of this but I am equally sure now that this is my problem!!! If only this movie would have come out earlier I probably could have avoided so much heart break. I suggest all of you who have had the same issues go get this checked out immediately. All of our babies are having a "time travel" party. They are al meeting somewhere and having the time of their lives. I am not sure why they do not test for this right away. It seems so obvious....HAHAHAHAHA!!!

My sis and I laughed a lot about this. She said she would like to be there if I go tell my doc this. I think he might have me committed...but I am pretty sure they would not put this stuff in a movie if it wasn't true. Right?

Gotta have a sense of humor about this stuff or I think I would snap.

Anyway, I hope all of you are well and had a great weekend!

xxooxxoo
  

Thursday, March 25, 2010

What is it like?

I look at you and I wonder...What would it be like to be you? How does it ACTUALLY feel to be a different person then who I am right now. I am sitting at my computer and typing away. What are you doing?

We are driving down the same road and my thoughts seem to jump from "wow what a beautiful day" to "I wish I had a child to take to the park to enjoy this day". As you drive, do you wish you could get a moment to yourself? To sit at a park bench and feel the sun on your face. No children screaming mommy.

I come home to an excited dog happy to see me and a hug from my husband but the quiet is what screams in my face. No children begging for my attention, running to my arms. You arrive home to a sibling argument needing a referee and everyone wanting to know what is for dinner. I have no idea what that feels like but I want to...

I sit on my couch and tell my husband about my day. We make dinner and wonder if we are going to have too much since it is only the 2 of us. Are you wondering if you will have enough? After dinner we watch our favorite programs. We do not have to wait for the kids to go to bed because right now all that the TV plays is cartoons. You probably know every word to the "Lion King" and I could not even tell you the plot of the movie.

I go to bed. No bed time stories, no sweet tender kisses. Just the snoring from my hubby and the TV I keep on in the background to keep me company. I sleep through the night and wake when I feel like it. I am sure you are begging for a full nights sleep or a couple extra hours.

The next day for me is more of the same. Is yours different from day to day? I would imagine with children it is... I don't know what it is like to be you but you have an idea what it is like to be me. Does that make it harder? easier? I look at you and think "oh what I would not give to have that. Does she appreciate it like I would?" Do you look at me and think the same?

 I know I am BLESSED. I know the "grass is always greener", "be careful what you wish for", and "be happy with what you have". I understand that...I do. I am grateful for many things...I truly am...

but...

I want to know what it is like to be someone else. I want to be a MOM. I want it so bad my heart aches like no ache I can ever describe. I want to know what it is like to not have this emptiness in my heart. I want to know what it is like to feel...COMPLETE...??!!!

xxoo

Sunday, March 21, 2010

My cute Noah! (kids mentioned)

Today is my nephew Noah's 3rd birthday!

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Isn't he so cute!!!

Noah 08/09

My cute little Noah. I can not believe you are 3. I wish I could keep you this age. I can not imagine you getting older... Everything you say and do is just so darn cute! No matter what kind of mood I am in you (and your brother) can always turn any frown to a smile. All I have to do is hear your voice.

I remember you being born. It seems like yesterday. It was one of the most exciting and beautiful things I have ever seen...you coming into this world. I love you so much! I hope you have a wonderful birthday and have lots of fun at your party!

I will see you there!

xxooxx

Aunt Shell

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Adventures in Babysitting (kids mentioned)

This weekend we had my nephews overnight on Saturday. Well actually we went over there for the night and we had so much fun. My sis has a projector TV so we set it up in the living room and had a slumber party. We rented G Force but the movie was dark and the kids lost interest very fast so we put in Alvin and the Chipmunks.

My nephews were so cute. they were very excited about the slumber party. We first took them to the mall and they played in the play area for a while. they rode some of the kiddie rides and then we took them to A&W for dinner. When we got home we got everything set up and popped the popcorn and settled in for our slumber party. No.ah the youngest wanted to do pillow fights...so we did and then we cuddled and watched the TV.

I was worried that they might not sleep very well with all of us in the living room but when I said bed time they fell right asleep and slept through the night until 7:00 am. he nice thing about them being in the living room was I could always have an eye on them. When ever I watch them over night and they are quiet all night I always have to check to make sure they are still breathing. I know can you tell I am inexperienced at this?

The next morning we got up and took them to our house to see the animals. I remember a short time ago No.ah was scared of our dog who if you know him you would laugh at that but to a kid he does not know any different. Now Noah absolutely loves Sammy. He always asks me about him on the phone and wants to see him. So they played with him and gave him cheese, which is Sammy's favorite. Then we went back to their house.

Jo.ey said he wanted to take a nap which shocked me and they both laid down and slept for an hour/hour and half. They were so so good for us and there is nothing like a 3 year old saying "I lub you Aunt Shell" like 500 times to make you feel all warm and fuzzy all over. I just LOVE those kids so much. I wish they would stay 3 and 5 because they are the CUTEST!!!! I can not imagine them as teenagers.

No.ah's 3rd birthday is next Sunday and he is very excited! I told him I had a present for him and his eyes lit up.

They were a lot of fun and they tired us out so we crashed when we got home and that was our weekend. How was yours?

xxooxxoo

    

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Plan of Attack

Sorry it has taken so long to update about what happened on Saturday. I have been trying to digest it and make sure I do the right thing. Basically the lawyer said we make too much money to declare chapter 7. She said we can do Chapter 13 because if we do Chapter 7 then we will have enough money left over to make some sort of payment. She said if we do 13 then we will make about a 300 a month payment for 3 years and then be done. We will have to give up our house but we were already planning on that since our house is worth less then half of what we owe on it and we are already out growing it and we do not have any kids. She said if we find another place where we are paying about 900 a month or I lose my unemployment then we can switch to chapter 7 at that time.

It is frustrating because I am too poor to pay anything and do anything but I am not poor enough. They go by the median income for your family size in your state. Well that is hardly fair. Michigan is a very poor state right now do to everyone losing their jobs. We made 2000 too much to do chapter 7. 2000 measley dollars. That is frustrating!

I got a call from my mortgage company saying they decided we can not do a workout program anymore because we can not afford it. Which I think makes total sense. HAHA! This is a direct quote from my mortgage company..." You either need to increase the money you make per month OR you need to decrease your monthly expenses in order for us to help you out." Um DUH!!! You should be a financial advisor. All I have to do is increase the money I make or decrease the money I spend. I would have never thought of that. I was cracking up and I said..."If I could do that then I would not be calling you because I would not need your help." Anyway, they are looking into getting us a loan that would pay off our past due balance and place it on the end of our mortgage. I do not really care at this point because I know we are going to give up the house but I am just trying to delay as long as possible. We probably have a good year before we will have to be out and I would hope that I would have a job by then. I looked in the paper and there are A LOT of houses that are rent with an option to buy so that is what will probably do. We are going to save money during the next year so that we can give them a good payment up front which I hope would increase our chances of getting a place.

I am going to get a second opinion from another lawyer not because I think it will change but because I just want to make sure we are doing the best thing and have a good lawyer. Plus I have done a lot of research since are meeting last Saturday and I feel much more educated. So that is what we are going to do. It is overwhelming and depressing but I just keep trying to tell myself that in a year from now we will be in a much better place...I hope! With the little extra money that we might have I am planning on paying my RE the 300 I owe him and hopefully get to go in and talk to him again. I at least would like to get a laparoscopy done now while I am out of work and get any other tests and such done. Then work on how we are going to do IVF with our current non existent coverage. Who knows maybe when we give up this house maybe we will move to a state the mandates coverage.

So that is our plan to attack this mountain of crap we have come across. It is not the dream plan but it will have to do. At least I am moving forward and not backwards. Hopefully it will continue.

Thank you all for you kind words and support. You all made me feel so much better!
T

Friday, March 5, 2010

No money + bad decisions = BIG TROUBLE

Well, my dear internet friends it has been a tough last 7 days. I feel like I am sinking in quicksand and having a hard time keeping my head above. This is all because of some bad decisions on my part and things out of my control. Maybe I shouldn't put this all out there but right now I feel like my head is going to burst and I just need to get it out...

 So you all know that I lost my job last June after being screwed over and this was after being out of work for 3 months due to a back injury. Anyway, because of a major lack of fundage we ended up just having our leased vehicle repossessed. It seemed like the only option at the time. I mean we had a leased vehicle that we were paying a whopping 575.00 a month for and when we were to turn in the car in September we would have been at about 65,000 miles and we were only aloud to go 36,000 so that was at 15 cents a mile for every mile over for a total of 4350.00 and then the wear and tear because we had a cracked windshield and REALLY bad tires that we would have had to fork out a couple hundred for before we turned the car in. We figured if we just let them repossess it for the last of the few months we had left we might end up better off. Who knows, as far as money goes it may end up to be cheaper but let me tell you it definitely is not less stressful!

Yesterday, we made the mistake of answering the door only to be served with a summons for the car. Now, I knew this was coming but yet it has totally stressed me out. The summons does not say much but that we have 21 days to respond and they are suing for 6200 plus costs and interest. Well, I made an appointment with a bankruptcy attorney because that was pretty much always the plan. We were going to wait until the last possible second, which was getting something saying the were taking us to court over the car, we will not win because lets face it we did not pay as agreed. Now before this ever happened my credit was not good. We had been working on fixing this but when I got injured and then lost my job everything went out the window. We will not win and then they will garnish wages and that DEFINITELY CAN NOT HAPPEN. So we figured we would declare bankruptcy and start over. Not something I am proud of or wanted to do but I feel I am left with little options. We do not really have anyone to turn to for help so what choice do we have?

Anyway, we have an appointment tomorrow morning to see what our options are but I am worried because I am not sure how we are going to pay for the bankruptcy itself. What do you do when you are too poor to go bankrupt? I think that is pretty bad. Now all this is on top of last Friday getting a notice from the IRS saying they were placing a Levy on us do to not paying 2008 takes. We made a payment arrangement and in January I paid the payment online but apparently they credited it to 2009 taxes. Um...haven't even filed those yet. Do you really think I am paying 2009 in advance when I haven't even paid 2008 yet...the answer would be NO. Luckily I looked at my confirmation online and figured out the problem and called the IRS and got it fixed but it really is not a certified letter you want to get in the mail. Also, on the same day we got something from our mortgage company saying our work out plan had expired and they were rereviewing it and needed some additional info and then a letter from the city because we kind of have neglected paying our water bill in a LONG time. They always sent a letter and said we had to pay the balance by some far out date or it would be attached to the taxes on our house which I figured was fine with me since that always came out of mortgage payment and the water isI not attached to my name so I figured fine by me...until...last Friday they said they were going to put a lien on our house until we pay them 436.00 by 03/31/10. Can you say STRESSFUL!!!

I mean this is all not a surprise and it is our fault but all at one time COME ON!!!! Not to mention unemployment was in question this week because it expired on Sunday and 1 senator was holding the approving of extensions but thankfully it was approved on Tuesday at least for another month while they try to work out the details for a longer extension. I mean they bail out all the big corps why should they not bail out all the people who need it? I can not even tell you how many resumes and applications have been sent out and I have not gotten 1 response...I am just sick to my stomach!

Right now I am feeling like a big failure and a loser and I am wondering if I am EVER going to be able to have a baby. Not to mention I was cleaning and I twisted or turned, bent over...something and totally killed my back. I was suppose to go out tonight but I CAN NOT DO that at all so I am staying home. Tomorrow I have the appointment with the lawyer and a wedding to go to. I hope I feel better.

I could really use some positive words and some prayers and anything else you can send my way. It ha been a tough week but I am hoping the bad news is over...please!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Show and Tell

Finally, I am posting about my BEAUTIFUL blanket that I won courtesy of  Michele at Tales of a Batty Nurse. She had a giveaway on her blog and I won. I am very excited that I won because I never win anything. I love this blanket and it will be perfect for the little girl that I am hoping I will have some day. It goes in my hope chest along with the other things I have collected over the years. Maybe I will show that some day. Anyway, she made this blanket and she makes many others. she sells them to help pay for her baby making so if you would like one of your own please head over to her blog and follow the links to order one. Isn't it BEAUTIFUL! (sorry if the picture isn't to clear. My lighting was bad). Thank you so much Michele!!

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To see what every one else is showing at the head of the class please head over to Mel's place