Tuesday, July 21, 2009

ICLW... Oh how I've missed you! and Happy Anniversary to me!

Well I haven't participated in the ICLW in the last few months. I have had a lot going on and I am a total over achiever! I always want to comment on every blog and when I can't, I figure I should not do it. I know...I know that is so not the point. So I am in it again and I am just going to do what I can do although right now I do have some time on my hands.

I am very happy to be back in ICLW. I always love reading all the new blogs that I do not regularly read and I enjoy new comments. So let me give you some info about myself.

With DH for 16 yrs and married for exactly 9 years today! Happy Anniversary Honey! I love you with all my heart and I can not even imagine what life would be with out you and I never want to!!! Thank you for always being there for me through all the good times and bad. I hope soon our dreams come true!

Today also happens to be my nephew Jo.ey's (who I talk about some here on my blog)4th Birthday! Wasn't that such a great anniversary present for us. I can not believe he is 4 already! Time flies. He is such a loving sweet boy! I love you Jo.ey! Happy Birthday!

The other thing that we commemorate today is that we have been TTC for 9 years. This is not something to celebrate however so it is a good thing I have other things to focus my mind on. I was diagnosed with PCOS which sucks!

I have lost 4 babies. I had 2 early miscarriages and 2 ectopics. 1 was an extremely rare cervical ectopic which tragically would have been a healthy baby had it implanted in the right place. With all the technology I wish they could figure out how to move it to the right place!

My last loss was 07/03/08. I went on break after that because I needed a mental break. If not I might have jumped off the closest bridge. I am ready now to get back in the game and I am trying to save for IVF. However, things have not been going my way.

Last month I was fired from my job for some bullshit reason and currently I am fighting to get money from unemployment. We are struggling now to stay afloat and found out that they will probably be coming to take our car by the end of the month. Unfortuantely we do not have another car nor the money to buy a new one so we are trying to figure out what to do. DH has to get to work or we are REALLY screwed. He is going to talk to his mom today and hopefully she can help us out. PLEASE PLEASE!! something needs to go right.

I am 35 years old and I feel like I am going backwards. I am no where I thought I would be by our 9th anniversary and it really makes me sad and angry! I also feel like I am running out of time. So as you can tell my mind has been racing and I am kind of freakin' out! Hopefully soon things will turn around.

The good thing that came out of the last year was that I found this wonderful on line community. I started blogging thinking I would come online and educate everyone and then I found all of you and I have learned so much from you. Although I have not met you IRL I consider you all my friends. As I have said many times you all have helped through some difficult times and celebrated with me during happy ones. I don't know what would have happened if I had not found you all. Thank you all for what you have done for me and I hope I can and do do the same for you!

Thats all I have for now. I am sure I will be seeing (reading) you around this week.



Lollipop Goldstein said...

Happy anniversary--and while there is so much on your plate right now; too much on your plate, I hope you get that space to celebrate too today.

cheryllookingforward said...

I'm here from ICLW - Thanks for the background info!
I hope things work out with your car and job... how come it always seems that everything happens at once? Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hey Michelle
I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a crappy run at the moment. Hang in there, if there's one thing in life we can always count on it's that corny cliché "this too shall pass".
Happy anniversary for today.

chicklet said...

9 years, gawd, I don't know how you do it. You are incredibly strong to endure this for 9 years, because at 3, I was almost done. It's so emotionally draining when there's not other stuff going on, which you HAVE going on WITH TTC. I'm hoping for you that something works out - whether it be the car or finances or even the best case (a kid), it'd just be nice for you to catch a break:-)

Michele said...

Peter and I went through some very difficult times financially through our marriage, and it has taken us years to recover but finally things are worked out. And I am grateful. Dont give up.

I also have PCOS and we tried to conceive from 1998-2007, until we conceived with help from an RE. It was a rough journey, but still, dont give up. Dont give up, dear.

Katie said...

Happy Anniversary! I hope good things start coming your way very, very soon!


Shelli said...

Nice to meet you via ICLW, and thanks for stopping by my blog.

I'm sorry that you've had such a difficult road... it helps to commisserate with others who have been there, and I wish you only luck as you move forward!

grace said...

I'm so sorry for all of your challenges. I'm impressed, though, by your perserverance. I hope it all works out well for you.


sassy said...

Happy anniversary and nice to meet you, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate so I am wishing you courage and strength this summer...

Melissa G said...

Happy Anniversary and Happy ICLW!!!

Gosh you've really been through it. I hope your dreams come true very soon!

And I agree, this really is an amazing community here. So much love, so much support. I can't imagine where I'd be with out it. I'm glad it has saved you too!

Mrs. Chop said...

Here from LFCA to wish you a happy anniversary. I can see it's bittersweet, as it commemorates so many years of trying to have a family, but I hope you will take time to celebrate and that wonderful things will come to you soon.

Anonymous said...

Happy 9th Anniversary!!

Wishing you all the best during this difficult and trying time.

The Unproductive One said...

Yes 9 years.....I don't know how we do it either, we're coming up to 10 years ttc this year, also with 4 losses.

I hope you get to see your dream come true sooner rather than later.

At least when you do, it will taste all the more sweeter because of the wait.


Lea White said...

I saw your link on Sharon's blog and so thought I'd stop by and visit you.

Wow, I cannot even begin to imagine how challenging and difficult your journey has been and currently is. Sometimes life is so unfair and we just can't understand why it makes it so hard for some people.

Please do know that I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts!

Ashley said...

I am so sorry for what you've been through. I truly hope that things work out somehow!

Ashley said...

I am very sorry for what you've been through and what you are going through currently!

I hope you had a wonderful anniversary, 9 years is such an accomplishment!

Cassandra said...

Happy Anniversary! I hope that the next year brings much better things than the last.

And happy ICLW!

Flutterby918 said...

Hi, I am new at reading your blog, from ICLW and I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you and your husband are experiencing now. I am sure it makes your anniversary bittersweet in a way. GL with the car and your unemployment claim, you will be in my thoughts!!

JamieD said...

Happy Anniversary! I hope you were both able to pull all the BS in the back seat for an evening and enjoy each other. Congrats!

Jess said...

Hang in there girl! I'm sorry about your job. The same thing happened to me a few months ago, so that is why I'm going back to school. I'm also fighting for money but doubt I'll get it.

I'm sorry for your losses. I've also lost for babies. I hope you can save the money and get your IVF soon!

Thanks for the comment, and I hope you either go back to school or find a job that makes you happy.