Not a good day

I am so upset! After all my delaying and putting off of my appointment with my RE I finally make the appointment. It is suppose to be tomorrow. I was excited and nervous at the same time. anyway...this morning I get a call from the office saying I have a balance that needs to be paid before I can see him. Really bad timing because I do not have it. It is 300.00 and I don't even have remotely close to that right now. So I guess now I have to wait until July. Hopefully I will be able to get caught up and come up with the money by then. It is my fault. I got the bill a long time ago, like last year. I knew I owed it but I was hoping that they would accept partial payment. no such luck. This whole IF thing really sucks!!! It makes me very bitter that I have to fork out all this money and still have nothing to show for it. I have many more thousands of dollars to go and no guarantee that I will EVER have anything to show for it. It SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!!

Then remember what I mentioned the other day. Well today they made the announcement to everyone in our company that 4 of our departments are moving down to Florida. they have an office there and it is much cheaper labor so bye bye. It is not my department but they told us that they will be reviewing all the TLs and probably getting rid of 1-3 of them. It does not matter if it is your department that is moving. They will just do some shuffling. I will probably be one of the ones to go since I am pretty sure my boss hates me. I don't know about the other 15 TLs but it is just a feeling I have. My problem is I am not a "yes" person. I tend to question things when they don't make sense or say something when things don't seem right. I do it professionally but apparently I don't think my boss likes it, even though she said that is why she promoted me in the 1st place. We won't mention how good my department is doing now and how smooth everything goes. But I am still trying out the don't worry about it until it happens. A lot can happen between now and December and I really don't know the other TLs business. Maybe I am just making things up in my head because I am a perfectionist and hate one little mistake. i am very hard on myself.

I do have to say the not worrying about it until it happens is kind of a little freeing. I realized that there is really nothing I can do to change what will happen, if it happens. i won't be able to change my boss's opinion because she loves the other 2 TLs under her and nothing I will do will change that. I just need to come in and do my job the best way that I know how and let the chips fall where they may. Will see how I feel as the time gets closer.

So it is only noon and this day has been crap!!! I am now so ready to get back in the fertility race but now I have to wait because of money and lets not talk about what will happen if I lose my job. I am so frustrated!

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow is game 7 of the Stan.ley Cup finals. Its the last game. Whoever wins tomorrow night will be the champs. I am hoping and praying it is the Re.d W!ngs. I need something to celebrate.