When I get like this I can take things, small things, and blow them up until it is the end of life as we know it. I don't know if this is a result of the infertility or other things that have happened in my life but it has become some what of a 'thing' for me. I hate this about me. It is not an enjoyable character trait. It is not something that you hear me go off on my tangents and say there is something I wish I could do, gee she has all together. But some how through all my craziness and my inability to produce 1 live baby in 8 years of trying and 4 pregnancies my DH looks at me like I am his soul mate. I am the one he chooses to be with forever and ever. I am the one he loves more then life itself. Why he does not pack up and run in the other direction is sometime beyond my imagination. Now don't get me wrong I am also the source of much humor and bewilderment for him because he is the most laid back person I know. Things DO NOT stress him out! He alsways sees the "glass half full" and always reassures that things are going to work out just the way they are suppose to and that will be perfect. ..much to my dismay because I want to know how exactly are they going to work. Someone needs to run this by me and make sure it is what I had planned. Make sure it fits in to my version of how my life is suppose to go.
I wish I could be more like him or he more like me sometimes but I know that would never work! That is why were are the perfect balance. We fit "like a glove". If we were both like him nothing would ever get done because we would be sitting around waiting for eveything to happen "the way it is suppose to" and if we were both like me we would sit around planning everything to death and trying to come up with evey contigency plan in case what we planned did not work out and that is just EXHAUSTING! So instead we go perfectly together like chocolate and strawberries (memo to self get these this weeked they will make me feel better mmmm). How we found each other in this great big world is amazing (philosophical enough for you) and I am so THANKFUL every day for him because without him I think I would have been locked up in a looney bin a long time ago. Everyday he chooses to love me for all my faults and quirks. He chooses to stay by my side to make me laugh, cry, sometimes get angry, and feel loved. For that I will never feel lack or stressed or sad. I will just be forever grateful and full for I have found what every person looks for and that is someone to love and someone to love back. That is why he is my ULTIMATE favorite thing!
Sorry if I bored anyone with my sappiness or sadness lately. It will get better soon...hopefully. :)