My heart is broken as I remember. Remember where I should be, instead of where I am. On Saturday 10/18 will be another date that passes that I should have 2 year old. The due date for my second loss. The due date for the one that should have been if he/she would have just implanted in my uterus and not in my cervix. I remember the dr saying "I'm so sorry. The baby is healthy now but will soon cut off your blood supply. The baby will die and you will probably die". I remember being under during the surgery and fighting and when I woke they said they had to give me more anasthesia because I was fighting them. I said I was dreaming that someone was trying to take my baby. The sad thing is...it wasn't a dream.
So I light a candle for angel #1, angel #2, angel #3, and angel #4. And I light a candle for all of your angels. For all the ones that should be here...the light of our lives not the light on our mantle.