My heart is broken as I remember. Remember where I should be, instead of where I am. On Saturday 10/18 will be another date that passes that I should have 2 year old. The due date for my second loss. The due date for the one that should have been if he/she would have just implanted in my uterus and not in my cervix. I remember the dr saying "I'm so sorry. The baby is healthy now but will soon cut off your blood supply. The baby will die and you will probably die". I remember being under during the surgery and fighting and when I woke they said they had to give me more anasthesia because I was fighting them. I said I was dreaming that someone was trying to take my baby. The sad thing is...it wasn't a dream.
So I light a candle for angel #1, angel #2, angel #3, and angel #4. And I light a candle for all of your angels. For all the ones that should be here...the light of our lives not the light on our mantle.
3 comments:
You are right - the anniversaries are so hard. The day you found out you wer pregnant, the day you found out you lost the baby, the day it should have been born. Even the holidays, thinking about how different your home would have been.
My candle is burning brightly.
Our candles burned down until they extinguished themselves.
So sorry for all your losses, anniversaries, and difficult days.
Remembering with you.
My candle was shining on as well.
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