Tuesday, December 2, 2008

More stupid things people say

Why do people feel that I need "practice". I mean really that's what you think will help me and get me to do what you want? WTF? I have had people say this to me when referring to watching their or other peoples children "You should do it. It will be good practice for you." Maybe, and I am just thinking out loud here..."I DO NOT want practice!" I DO NOT NEED ANYMORE PRACTICE! I WANT the real thing! I have had enough "practice" and again thinking out loud here...It probably is not a good thing to say to someone who is trying to have a baby, someone who has had 4 failed pregnancies and now has tried to quit "practicing" for 101 months. I mean would you say to a parapalegic "hey, why don't you watch me walk. It will be good for you since you just sit around all day." NO YOU WOULD NOT! IT's hurtful! It's insensitive! Why do people not take infertility seriously? It is frustrating.

16 comments:

Shannon said...

Yeah, the practice comment is over the top insensitive. I like your analogy to the paraplegic, that’s about how it feels. Everyone else is walking around and having a grand old time and here we are in our infertile wheelchair of life.

CJ said...

In 101 months, I'm sure you've heard all the insensitive comments. :( That's a great analogy to being parapalegic. I think we could avoid a lot of stupid comments from the "fertile" community if they could understand that infertility is a medical condition. You rarely hear such idiotic remarks about cancer, for example.

momofonefornow said...

I have thought about this taking infertility seriously thing quite a bit lately. I think so many people don't because they aren't being forced into it. I think all of us infertiles are just going to have to get very matter of fact and in your face before the world takes notice and gets a clue about sensitivity.

Dora said...

Yup, yup, yup! Nodding furiously as I read.

GREAT POST. Terrific analogy.

'Murgdan' said...

I don't know what I love more...your analogy of telling a paraplegic to watch you walk...or the fact that the subject of paraplegia led your ADSENSE to market adds for power wheelchairs and disability grants. :-)

...totally agree though.

Dana said...

People really don't think at all before they speak...do they? I am so sorry that you were subjected to someone that is insensitive and ignorant. Those ppl drive me nuts!!! Loved the analogy. Loves ya!

Kahla said...

Stupidity comes naturally, ignorance is learned. There are a LOT of ignorant people around. *sigh*

JamieD said...

I will never understand why other people can't understand infertility. I mean, they can't even come close to wrapping their minds around it. Empathy is out of the questions.

April said...

the topic is NOT funny, but I love your parapalgeic comment. ha ha ha ha ha ha. maybe i'm just so jaded that those types of comments make me laugh and laugh now? hmmm.....

you don't need practice. i think that people grow into parenthood with their child.

xo

momofonefornow said...

Thanks for the comment. Good for you for not yelling at MIL. I regularly want to yell at my in laws. :0)

Cara said...

Maybe I'm writing the wrong book. Maybe the book needs a "What not to say to broken babymaker" book. Of course, I'm not the right one to write it...you up for it?

Monica LeMoine said...

Dude, I'm sorry, but that's f**king a retarded thing for people to say to you. I mean, maybe they mean practice getting used to babies again? Practice getting comfortable with them? Whatever, it's insensitive.

Michelle said...

Cara I think I could write a series of books.

Echloe said...

I find comments like that so infuriating. I don't know why it is easy for people to rude to infertiles. As if we weren't dealing with enough crap.

Mo and Will said...

Great post. I agree wholeheartedly

Along the same lines, one of my sister in laws said to me (after a devastating miscarriage) "Well, practice makes perfect!" I almost throttled her.

Mo

www.lifeandloveinthepetridish.blogspot.com

Michelle said...

I really hate when my insensitive friend refers to "sex" as practice. She knows we're dealing with infertility, and she still says to me with a wink "just think of all the extra practice you get to have".

Makes me want to punch her right in that winking eye.