Thursday, November 27, 2008

Crappy Thanksgiving

Oh Man I am so glad to be home. Sorry this will not be a Friday Favorite things. I am too pissed for that right now.

What a craptastic Thanksgiving I have had. We went to my MIL house for dinner. She had 19 people in a 2 bedroom house. Loads of fun let me tell you. I got to meet my new nephew Con.ner the 2nd son of my 21 yr old BIL with his 2nd girlfriend. I was prepared for it. I was ready to meet the little bundle of joy. Actually looking forward to it. He was so cute!

However, what I was not prepared for was to guess NOT hear but guess by statements like "no I can't drink", "No I can't have any shrimp" and then looking over at the nice little baby bump fashioned by my 24yr old SIL now pregnant with her 2nd baby also not married and also with a different daddy. I was like CRAPULOUS! I could not stand it.

No one had the decency to warn me ahead of time. To give me the chance to process this new info in my own way, on my own time, in my own home before being able to say congratulations. When I first figured it out I was upset and I quietly excused myself to the other room to cry but I thought I would give MIL the benefit of the doubt. There is no telling about my SIL, maybe she just found out herself. Surely MIL knew what this would do to me and she would tell me....WRONG! Everyone and I mean EVERYONE that then started pouring into the house were "OMG I heard your pregnant again! That is so great congratulations!" So she knew and she has known for a while! It infuriates me because now they get an attitude because I am not gushing over the mommy to be. WTF people? Why can't you show some courtesy? I can be happy for her eventually (even though I do not think and no one else thinks for that matter that she is a very good mom seeing as her 4 year old is scared to death of her). I could have said "congratulations! When are you due? Is it a girl or a boy?" I could of if I would have the chance to let the shock sink in. Let it settle that she can have baby after baby with out a second thought while I sit her 34 and barren! But I never had the chance so I avoided as much as possible. I mean I had to guess...even if she would have called me into the other room and said I am sorry I did not tell you but SIL is pregnant, I know it is hard" but NO. My DH said to his mom "It would have been nice if you could have warned us. It would have taken the sting away a little." To which she said "there is nothing I can do about it now." No "I'm sorry" no nothing...basically saying screw you and your feelings. Then adding to it was the new baby so it was like someone was playing a cruel joke...here is what you are not and what you don't have. Happy Craptastic Thanksgiving to me! I knew I did not want to go over there. Infertility sucks but even more this time of year!

10 comments:

JamieD said...

Oh, Michelle. I am so sorry - that does sound like a craptastic Thanksgiving dinner.

No one will ever *get* us. And I don't understand why? It seems like such a simple concept.

Hugs for you . . .

C said...

:( I am so so so so so sorry that you were subjected to this today. How unfortunate and thoughtless that your ILs didn't prepare you for the news, and you had to deal with this on Thanksgiving. My heart is breaking for you! (And I'm annoyed for myself, too... I still have a hard time hearing about people like this.) Holidays during IF are especially brutal, and this was a whopper. HUGS!

Heather said...

OMG, that sounds like the Thanksgiving from Hell.

I'm so sorry you had to sit through that- although you're a bigger person than I am because I would have left.

People are so clueless... makes me infuriated, really does.

Dora said...

Oh, how awful! I'm so sorry. Your MIL sounds like a piece of work.

Sam said...

oooohhhhh, my blood boils for you! You just can't choose your family can you!?

Cara said...

Michelle - this is terrible. When is the rest of the world going to understand that the "woo-hoo, joyous - tinglly in your heart" feeling they get when they hear about a new baby is represented by the polar opposite effect when you can't get pregnant?

Their clueless and uninformed. You are special and strong - you are! You stayed, didn't you?

Another Dreamer said...

"Infertility sucks but even more this time of year!"

You got that right.

Sorry for the slap in the face from your family, and the lack of consideration. Vent away girl, vent away.

Amy said...

I'm so sorry you had such a horrible Thanksgiving.

ICLW

Monica LeMoine said...

You get lots of kudos for using "crapulous" and "craptastic" in one post. Hang in there!

Shannon said...

I'm sorry you had such a craptastic Thanksgiving. Mine was also craptastic, but at least no one was announcing their pregnancy. I would be just as upset as you are.

Lots of hugs to you.