Monday, August 3, 2009

Connection of the Heart <3

I had a really good time for girls weekend!!! Nothing like getting together with friends...drinking, eating, playing games, and laying on the beach. We had so much fun! I had some really good food. We had a dessert that was so good and it is really simple to make. It tastes just like a chocolate eclair...YUMMY!!!

There were 2 people at the girls weekend that I had never met before. I was a little nervous about this because you never know with new people. The inevitable questions about kids come up. Anyway, though they turned out to be great and the questions never came. I figured maybe my friends had warned them before hand not to ask me. I always wonder that when it does not come up. Funny though it bothers me a bit thinking that people are saying things about it behind my back, even though I know they mean well. However, I found out that that was not the case and it makes me love my friends even more! They don't treat me different and I appreciate that!

At the end of our time we were talking about something and I said I was a night person. I can stay up late but I said that is probably because I do not have any kids to which one of the girls said, "Oh, I thought you had a daughter?" (she must have assumed by a statement from some earlier story that my friend said, "oh see we reacted that way because we don't have boys." this must have made her assume I then had a girl). Anyway, I said, "No, hopefully someday." thinking why did I say anything, dummy you almost got through the whole time and did not have to explain anything. She then said "have you been trying for long?" Me.."yes, for nine years.(trying to think of a way out)" She..."what have you been trying?" Now, here I start to get irritated thinking, oh great you are going to be one of those people who tell me a friend of a friends aunts daughter tried such and such and it worked so you should give it a try. Already in that split second I am having the internal argument in my head that I DO NOT want to have out loud on fun girls weekend. Me..."I have tried everything up to IVF which I am unsuccessfully trying to save money for." She..." Do you go to XYZ clinic in XYZ city?"...Me.."yes, I do."...She..."who is your RE?"...Me..."Dr.Positive"...She..."Isn't he great? I love him." Everyone else..."what are you talking about you have kids?"...She..."yes but I had 1 loss and it took me 4 years to have my first."...Me...(big exhale)"You used him and were successful. I love hearing that!."...She..."stick with him...it will work." and that was the end of the conversation.

Infertility is so isolating that sometimes you feel like you are the only person on the planet who understands how it feels and then I meet someone that no one even realized knew the secret. She knew the pain and anguish. She knew what to say and where to end it and it instantly gave us a connection that no one else in that room had. It is a connection of the heart. She knew...I knew...and it so rare to be in a room with IRL friends that GET IT, it just made this weekend all that much better!

17 comments:

Sunny said...

Awww, that is so lovely! I'm glad you made that connection, and it's always good to hear a success story with your RE. :)

Demara said...

Awesome I'm so glad to hear this!!

I, on the other hand, just seclude myself from the nonsense and hermit myself into the world online.

It worx too!
but I suppose to get those 'girl' hugs from time to time would be even better :)

Glad you had a great time!

and THX for thinking of my family

Kate said...

Connections like that are so few and far between but such a breath of fresh air when they do happen. I'm glad you connected with this woman and I'm even more glad that you had a great weekend!

Astrid said...

This story made me so happy. I am thrilled for you. I have NO friends IRL that have had any trouble whatsoever and while it helps immensely to retreat to the blogosphere, I think my daily life would be enriched by having someone I could share this struggle with. Right now the only IRL friends who know are new moms. How's that for torture? So happy for you!!

'Murgdan' said...

Glad you had a great weekend....you so deserved that.
:-)

Michele said...

I'm glad that you were able to connect with someone. I agree. IF can make you feel so alone. It's great when you find someone that really understands.

Heather said...

IRL people who get it are few and far between, especially the ones that are courageous enough to speak up and ask questions! Glad you found one- how refreshing!

Melis.sa said...

that.is.awesome!! one of my IRL friends actually called me last week to talk about IF b/c she'd been struggling for 3 years with it in silence. it was so nice to talk to someone who got it too..

I'm glad that you had such a lovely weekend!!

iamstacey said...

omg, that is so awesome! I'm jealous of your connection, it's such a big area of my life right now, I would love to have an IRL friend to share with. I'm so glad you had such a wonderful weekend!

JamieD said...

What a great weekend!

I am glad you were able to make that connection. I have learned that IF and loss is such an isolating experience. Being able to really connect and talk with someone who ~knows~ and has been there is so important.

sara said...

Glad you had a good weekend and yes...isn't it nice when people "get it?" It's like yes...thank you!

Triumph said...

Glad you had a great weekend.

One always put up there guard to try to protect themselves from uncomfortable moments such as you had initially, but it does cause you to feel so bad when you realize something good actually came out of the situation.

All the best

battynurse said...

Glad you had a good weekend and a positive IF conversation with someone. That's always uplifting.

Dora said...

That's wonderful! It's so great when someone says just the right thing!

Another Dreamer said...

Isn't it a breath of relief? Totally agree.

Glad you had such a great weekend :)

Bluebird said...

I was holding my breath reading that conversation! So glad it ended well :)

And what a great lesson to everyone there that things are not always as they seem.

strongblonde said...

i LOVE hearing that my RE got someone else pregnant!! :) so glad that you got to meet someone who used your same doc and who has had success and was able to be a bit of support for you!!

xoxo